Keeping up with boyfriend

[Crankin]

If your boyfriend wants to ride with you, he will have to slow down. Otherwise, you will end up hating riding! When I started riding, my husband was into riding very fast. But, he rode with me even when I was toodling along on my mtb on the road. He could no longer ride with our son (too fast), so he was happy to ride with me. When I got a road bike, I could go a bit faster and we started doing longer rides together. At one point, he was recovering from 2 broken wrists and then 2 cardiac stents, so I had my small window of being faster! But, as I have improved, he has become fine with riding at an average of 15-16, sometimes a bit slower on windy days. I can draft him at 20-23 for awhile and it's fun, but not what I want to do all of the time. He rides a bit faster when he commutes, so those are his fast rides. We ride with another couple, also. The guy is stronger than Steve, but they go ahead a bit sometime. My friend is much slower than me, so I usually end up alone, in the middle. But sometimes I ride with the guys if they aren't hammering. On group rides, we usually ride together, near the front, because we go on group rides that are not for racers. We also lead rides and we alternate leading and sweeping. If this is something you want to do together, for the rest of your life, you have to compromise. I am 53 and want to ride until I drop dead. At some point, speed becomes less important and fitness/fun becomes the goal.

[Aggie_Ama]

My husband is like Spoke's in ability and we pretty much do the same thing as Regina.

I just let him go (especially on hills) and he waits at some point. He worries about me, so he won't fully take off. Sometimes I am so far behind he thinks I have had a mechanical issue. We carry a cell phone each, so he can check on me.

Explain to him you love riding and spending time together, but you are just never going to be a racer. Maybe the ability is there, but if the desire isn't you won't cultivate that ability. I have the desire to improve, but I will never be as fast of my naturally athletic husband and I *think* he finally gets that.

Sometimes my husband will tack on an extra 10 miles of all out hammering once I am done. The best thing to do is to be honest and find some balance. Good luck!

[Kitsune06]

My ex was a solid cyclist. Speeds that were just effortless to him were gasping-for-breath-blowing-snot strenuous to me. While I've sped up a little, recently, at that point it always felt like I was holding him back. =P Then again, when he got car-biffed it was a good thing I wasn't right behind him. I can only smile about it now because he was okay... at the time it was terrifying.