it's easy to say "Don't Nag" but when every single thing is a fight, nagging happens.
I know. I have 3 sons.

I guess we'll have to define nagging. Nagging is talking with no action. Nagging is sitting on your booty in the recliner and calling out as your kid passes by, "Don't forget to pick up your jacket! Did you take the trash out like I told you? Didn't I tell you to pick up your towel in the bathroom?"

I don't want my interactions with my child to be just about empty words from across the room. To me, that's nagging.

Not-nagging is getting up when you see your child coming in, and engaging them in interested conversation while they hang up their jacket. Not-nagging is, "Would you please take this bag of trash out while I put a new liner in the can?" Not-nagging is brushing your teeth together and saying, "Would you please put the towel up while I rinse out the sink?"

Nagging requires no effort on the part of the parent, just lip service.

Not-nagging requires actively engaging with your child, demonstrating the proper behavior, being interested in how they feel about what's required, doing it with them, believing that they will eventually get it on their own, and believing in their innate desire to do so.

We have a sense of humor around here. I don't nag my kids, because we joke around and use sarcasm and we do things together and it works better than nagging. But they often need reminders. One thing I do instead of nag is, say, we're in the kitchen after dinner...I get up to put my dishes in the dishwasher and say, "Hey, boy. Observe. Imitate." The only kid left at home has a very active imagination and his mind tends to flit around, so he easily forgets to put his dish away. But it's not the end of the world if he doesn't and it's not the end of the world if he forgets and I don't have to be a ***** by nagging him about it.

Lots of people will say "I don't have time to shepherd my kid around to every little chore." No one does. But if you do it enough, it becomes less of a necessity, and your relationship with your kids can be better than if you nagged.

Karen