motivating my kid

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My younger son went from being a happy silly 11 year old to acting like a ghoul when he was 13, 14, 15... He hardly moved his mouth when he talked, he kept his hands at his sides and when he walked around like that it was bizarre.

Weird!!! That's exactly how DH's son behaved...complete to the hardly moving mouth when talking!! It was really hard to understand his mumbling. The sad thing is that I know 3 other boys, sons of other friends, who do this too!! They are all thin and pale, too. What's up with that? Of the 4 boys, 2 were on Ritalin for years, 2 were not.
The only one thing i see in common is that they spend a lot of time on the internet, watching movies & tv, and playing computer games. That, and they all have parents who talk in front of them about how the school doesn't keep their smarter-than-average sons interested. (This includes DH, who no longer does this of course since his son is now 21 and struggling through college.) DH's son used to blame DH when he missed school or got detention for being late- for not dragging him out of bed in time- and this was when he was 16!!!....imagine!!
Man, I feel totally blessed that I never had these problems with my 2 daughters. I feel for parents who go through this.

[KSH]

Stacie,

What positive reinforcements do you have in place for when he does what he is suppose to?

When he gets a good grade... do you reinforce it with something he cares about? Such as: "Get an A and you will earn yourself a new video game".

I know some parents say they won't do this because they are bribing their kids to do what they should want to do.

Per the book, "Analyzing Performance Problems" by Rober F. Mager and Peter Pipe (p. 81):

" Bride is a loaded word, implying something illegal or designed to make someone do something against his or her will. What we are talking about is a positive consequence that, if you like loaded words, could as well be called a reward. By providing a positive consequence, you increase the probablity that behavior will occur. When a mother says to her child, 'If you pick up your clothes for a week, I'll take you to a movie,' is is not bribery. It is the offer of an incentive (a consequence desired by the child) in return for performance desired by the mother."

What is your sons positive consequence for making GOOD grades... for RUNNING... for accomplishing a goal?