Dear So and So

[pedalfaster]

Dear 3M (and other tape manufacturers),

Can you please make one kind of masking tape that comes off as intended when you take it off the roll?

Oh YEAH...I am SO with you on that one. Packing tape too please!

[fixedgeargirl]

Dear Publisher's Clearinghouse,

Could you please skip the formalities and just confirm my winning entry? I need more time to ride, my son really wants to be homeschooled, and this working full time thing is really getting in the way of both of those. I don't need the convertible Thunderbird, cash will be fine.

Thanks in advance,
fixedgeargirl

[LBTC]

good one fixed gear girl! and ditto Independently wealthy would work much better for me and my habits!

so, do you really ride a singlespeed? do you race it? wow. I bow down in awe of you!

namaste,
~T~

[fixedgeargirl]

LBTC - I do ride a fixed gear. It's set up like bikes you'll see in photos from the late 19th-early 20th century, when bikes were a major mode of transport for Americans. It's my townie/commuter and I ride mellow single track on it. Though I think my concept of *mellow single track* is skewed, since I grew up in Crested Butte, LOL. I've never raced it, and am less likely to now, since I blew my ACL last year skiing. I've become a lot more careful.

[SadieKate]

Dear Corporate Grand Poo-bahs,

Please don't make that email you just sent be a tease. Your loyal hardworking employees would love to have a corporate charity cycling club. I've wanted this for the 9 yrs I've slaved away on your behalf. Please make this a promise and follow through on it. And, let us choose events other than 6-day gonzo tours. These events all have their place but we also need rides where we can recruit newbie riders and get them sucked into the joys of riding. Then, we'll have double the effect - raise funds and grow the cycling community.

Your hardworking, dedicated employee.

[sgtiger]

Dear neighbor,

Again, no, I do not want to borrow your lawn mower. We're happy with our push mower, but thank-you for the offer. I'm really getting tired of the same conversation every time you see me mow my lawn. Yes, it's a bit of work but I'm not afraid of labor. You could say that I like doing things under my own power. I like the whirring of the blades as I watch the grass blades fly out too. Sure your gas powered mower would help me do it in half the time, but I really do not like the loud noise and smell; so I do not think I would enjoy the process half as much. And no, I do not want to borrow your edging tool either. I think my yard looks fine without it. I personally do not enjoy the perfectly manicured look with everything plotted our on a grid with well behaved topiaries. If it works for you, great! Please respect that that is not my style. I do not appreciate your passive aggressive offers to lend me whatever equipment you think my front yard needs to make it look less like crap (The one time you refreshingly aired your opinion.). Yes, I know it's plain, but I've decided to work on amending the soil and getting a veggie garden started before I work out what I want to do with the front.

Your crazy neighbor who enjoys grubbing in the dirt,

~Sg

[Aggie_Ama]

I want a non-gas mower. Looks fun and much more active. Plus less things to break, I was always envious of the man down the street with one growing up. My dad gave us his dino-burner one but I covet one of the "old school style". The neighbors know we are nuts. Typical conversation:

"So how far did you ride today?"
"Oh, just a short 30 mile loop to Andice."

Then the awkward stare and we try to convince them 30 miles is really fun, not torture. They call us "the athletic couple" to our faces who knows what they really call us.

[spokewench]

Dear neighbor,

Again, no, I do not want to borrow your lawn mower. We're happy with our push mower, but thank-you for the offer. I'm really getting tired of the same conversation every time you see me mow my lawn. Yes, it's a bit of work but I'm not afraid of labor. You could say that I like doing things under my own power. I like the whirring of the blades as I watch the grass blades fly out too. Sure your gas powered mower would help me do it in half the time, but I really do not like the loud noise and smell; so I do not think I would enjoy the process half as much. And no, I do not want to borrow your edging tool either. I think my yard looks fine without it. I personally do not enjoy the perfectly manicured look with everything plotted our on a grid with well behave topiaries. If it works for you, great! Please respect that that is not my style. I do not appreciate your passive aggressive offers to lend me whatever equipment you think my front yard needs to make it look less like crap (The one time you refreshingly aired your opinion.). Yes, I know it's plain, but I've decided to work on amending the soil and getting a veggie garden started before I work out what I want to do with the front.

Your crazy neighbor who is enjoys grubbing in the dirt,

~Sg

SG - Just dig up the lawn in the front and put the vege garden in there; it could be really pretty with flowers (annuals and perennials) mixed with herbs, and veges; and think of all the money you could save at the grocery!

spoke

[andtckrtoo]

Dear Weather Gods -

Is there any way we can have a nice weekend this weekend? Please feel free to shed rain during the week, I know we need it, but this taunting me with the gorgeous weather during the week and the nasty wind and rain storms on the weekends (I think we've had one nice weekend this year so far) is a bit wearing. Just one nice weekend, then you can go back to raining on our parades...

Thank you!

Soggy in San Jose

[Aggie_Ama]

SG - Just dig up the lawn in the front and put the vege garden in there; it could be really pretty with flowers (annuals and perennials) mixed with herbs, and veges; and think of all the money you could save at the grocery!

spoke

I looked across the street from my Mammaw's old house and they had xeriscaped it in native plants. I told my dad "That is what we are planning ofr our backyard". His reply "You are going to plant weeds?" Some people just don't get it.

[Aint Doody]

Dear Customer, I know your cell phone call is important. However, could you just stay outside of my store until you finish your call? I get really tired of wasting my time standing on one foot waiting for you to get off the phone so that you can buy $1 worth of guitar picks.

[Irulan]

SG - Just dig up the lawn in the front and put the vege garden in there; it could be really pretty with flowers (annuals and perennials) mixed with herbs, and veges; and think of all the money you could save at the grocery!

spoke

hey our First Lady is doing it.