Dear So and So

[massbikebabe]

Dear Mama Bear:

Please don't worry if my man cub shows up at your door. He spent two months worth of allowance to buy his GF roses today. He is a very handsome and loving young man. He is very good to his mother. He went out and got his mother an IPOD last year so that she could walk and listen. He calls every day after school before practice to make sure I am o.k. He does chores around the house without complaint, and cooks a mean salmon. He will make some lucky young lady a good wife.

mother of a beautiful son

[LadyinWhite]

Dear colleague:

You've known for about 5 years now that I do not like you. I don't like your arrogance. I don't like your need to insert yourself and your oh so amazing wisdom into every conversation. I don't like your incessant whining whenever you feel over worked. We are all working hard to make a living, no one, least of all me needs to hear your woe is me every time we cross paths.

Please stop trying to ingratiate yourself into my good graces. Accept the fact that I don't like you and don't want to talk to you. Nod, say good morning if you must, I will, out of pure civil courtesy sake respond with a proper greeting but then continue on your way and leave me to get through my day without being reminded of exactly why I can't stand you in the first place.

Best regards,
T.

[Velobambina]

Dear Earth -- Send us temps above freezing & some sun to melt the ice/snow/slush quickly. This February has been a killer, weather-wise, and I want to get back to riding outside regularly. While Coach Troy is surely making me stronger, I'd prefer to let the trainer rest again and to use it only occasionally.
Did Punxy Phil promise an early spring?

[Pax]

Dear White Men,

You already rule the world, please stop being such whiny winners. Every woman who does not find you witty, interesting, worthy of her time, or who does NOT want to sleep with you is not a (fill in the blank with your usual vile hate filled words). In short, get the hell over yourselves and stop acting like whiny little boys.

Sincerely,

Another woman who is tired of you.

[missymaya]

Dear Gray Matter in my skull,
Please get through this paper. All you need is 300 hundred more words on this subject and some clarification. Just get through, you'll do well. Please don't break on me! How would I get to class tonight w/o my lovely gray matter!
Please keep working 'til 8:50 pm this evening.

[Kitsune06]

Dear corporate execs, hallmark shareholders, purveyors of things cute, pink, and fuzzy:

I first want to extend to you my congratulations. Every V-day you manage to flood stores with the spoor of commercialized affection. You make it easy for someone to go buy a small gift, a token or trinket to attempt to make up for disingenuine living. You tell people that unless they receive such tokens, their partner doesn't *really* love them. You do incredible damage to the subtle natures and delicate sensibilities of those who choose to let every day be equal in amorousness... and you do damm good business as well.

But to the pith of my letter:
I regret to inform you, I will not be contributing to your business ventures. Even as I look out my window at the party supply shop, watching a woman carry a massive bouquet of balloons and jam them into her minivan, I sigh and shake my head.
There are those who protest this 'holiday' completely and refuse to acknowledge its passing...
but I feel I do it much better service by taking it at face value... with intention and not the almighty dollar in heart and mind.
Love is love, and though I rather prefer Beltaine as a celebration of Love, I'll take any other excuse I can as well. Every day should have notes of it but what an opportunity we have, twice in a year, to celebrate the tremulous joy of sharing our soul with another- the bliss of the shared experience?
And for those alone today, or unhappily committed- today is a day to celebrate love as a concept- it exists for us all, deep within us in a way no one else can touch, but is ours to give as we wish.
In closing, men in shirt and jacket with silken noose about your neck,
Good luck with everyone else.
Best regards,
Aryn
PS. If you start commercializing Beltaine, I don't know if I'd be upset or amused... but you *have* to tell people what that maypole represents, first!

[mary9761]

Kitsune ROFLMAO!!! Indeed!

[margo49]

Dear Modesty Squads in Saudi,

This week's campaign to arrest people selling decadent infidel Valentine's Day stuff or even red articles in general and to hang out undercover and arrest people for wearing red or carrying red flowers or balloons is not quite what we had in mind either.

[KnottedYet]

Dear chaotic cosmic forces,

Thanks for the chemistry!

Knot

[logdiva32]

Dear overweight fitness center attendant,
Perhaps, if you place a covered bike rack out side of your fitness center, I would not ask you to move some of the old wrestling mats and boxing bags that lie at every hallway exit blocking the doors, because you will not allow me to bring my bike inside because, it is unsecured personal property and oh a "fire hazard" in the corner, that all 6 people who are in the gym might run for the same door; then I would happily lock my bike up outside and I might use your facility more and you won't have to cut your hours for lack of use. Oh, Then you wouldn't suggest driving my car like you do" who is 50 lbs overweight". But, guess it is not worth argueing over.

[crazycanuck]

Dear dorky male rider by Murdoch uni this afternoon,

TAKE YOUR IPOD OFF...I shouldn't have to swear at people & yell "rider" 3 times before you hear me!!!!! If i wanted to bike 10km/hr I'd go behind you..

STAY TO THE LEFT...

FREAK.

Thank you & don't have a nice day

c