Dear brand new Castelli jersey,

I'm so sorry about this morning.

I was sloppy with the snot rocket and got shrapnel all over your left sleeve. I know I am much better on my right, but I will have to work on my left-sided technique so as not to mess you up again. Snot aside, you performed admirably on your maiden voyage, keeping me toasty warm despite the dense fog cover and ocassional drizzle.

There you go into the washing machine.
I'll be waiting for you when you come out.