Funny! The truths of being a Bike Geek!!

[equus123]

i thought it was hysterical one time after a long group ride. i was driving home half dazed when....in driving past a branch on the side of my lane, i (and actually did it) pointed down all assertively as i drove past because it came up kinda quick, surprised me, and that was my immediate reaction.

very sad....but very true. lol

[Python]

5. You KNOW what a Presta valve is

11. You know what the difference is between Ultrasensor, Core-Tech, and Microfiber jersey materials

16, The first thing you ask when you regain consciousness is "How's my bike?"

19. Your learn you have some money left over after paying bills and the first thing you do is reach for the nearest bicycling catalog

Yep. Definitely

[Flybye]

Just had to add one more, not on the original list.....

DH gave me a gift certificate for a massage today because I finished my metric century ride - first ever - what a great DH!!
The massage was glorious, BUT...
You know you are a bike freak when, instead of tipping, you realize that if you saved the five bucks, you might be able to buy something small at the bike shop instead Won't snitch on whether or not I tipped. Wait, I think I did just snitch.

[Python]

Probably what I'd do to LOL

[deena]

My sister sent me this list (not sure where it's lifted from):

• You know every traffic light sequence in the tri-county area for stop free pedaling.

• Either it's a Brooks saddle or I will stand and pedal the whole way, thank you.

• You own/wear more tights than a children's theater group performing Peter Pan.

• You have eaten pasta directly out of your front bag, while pedaling.

• You have higher quality, up-to-date intel on bike specs, gear and camping equipment than the staff at your local shop, the sales reps in your community and the editors at national magazines.

• You sport a killer set of bodybuilder quads and a pair of angel hair pasta thin arms. That ten year old boy called again. He wants his biceps back.

• You don't hate drivers as much as pity them in their steel cages, surrounded by shock jock rhetoric and their vague anger over how it came to this.

• You think about each hill as a cyclist, even when you are driving in a car.

• You calculate distances between cities by how long it would take by bike. ( 21 bike days from St. Petersburg to St. Louis)

• You know how many miles you rode last night, last week, last year.

• You don't find it over sharing to tell people you just met how many miles you rode last night, last week, last year.

• You have a Biker's Tan. (bottom 2 /3 of your legs, lower 1/2 your arms, and two little circles on the tops of your hands)

• You get sad when your Biker's Tan fades.

• You have nothing good to say about logging trucks or RVs with living fossils behind the wheel, or anything sporting wide mirrors.

• You have lost feeling in your hands, neck and groin for substantial periods of time, but still you consider it the fair price of doing business on two wheels.

• You have far too many photos of yourself on or around your bicycle next to signs at the top of mountain passes, Welcome To So and So State, National

Park entrances, starting lines of bike rides, historic sites, and in front of bicycle shops.

• You've lost sleep over the trailer vs pannier debate - of course you own both.

• You can't bring yourself to recycle any magazine remotely related to cycling. (Bicycling, Adventure Cyclist, Dirt Rag, Bike, even that issue of GQ where Al Gore was on a bike)

• You've given your bike a nickname.

• You've used that nickname out loud... in mixed company, and felt no shame or embarrassment. Some of us aren't so brave.

• You lift your butt off the car seat as you go over potholes, railroad tracks and speed bumps.

• You turn the air vents of your car to blow directly into your face and imagine you are on a bike ride.

• You own a pile of lightweight stuff that has multiple uses, and you've tested all of them in real life situations.

• You have enough funny/scary animals chasing me stories to close a bar of rowdy Irishmen or outlast a windbag uncle at the family reunion. (note: No windbag uncle? Hmm, could it be you)

• You've slept in a church, playground, cemetery, farm pasture, yurt and jail (voluntarily?) beside you bicycle.

• You know the other definition of Critical Mass.

• You are an expert at spotting thunderstorms, tornados, windstorms, marauding cattle and ice cream stands from a distance.

• You have been caught in a thunderstorm while still in the saddle blinking away water and grinning all the way home.

• You check your helmet mirror for what's behind you even when you are off the bike and not wearing it.

• You hate headwinds, hills and trucks parked on the shoulder of any descent.

• You secretly love headwinds and hills, but those trucks parked on the shoulder of any descent are the work of an angry god.

• You forget, much like a woman after childbirth, all the pain, headwinds, humidity and hills within days of a long ride, and start dreaming about the next.

• You have coachroached: bonking so badly that you have to lie on your back, pull your arms and legs tight and spasm your legs into the air to relive the

cramps. Take a picture of that sometime.

• You can say "My bicycle has been stolen!" in six different languages.

• Your bike is more expensive than your car. (if you even own one)

• You never ask anyone in a car if the road you are on has "hills" or "climbs".

• You wave to drivers with bike racks.

• You have convinced yourself and others that protein bars are tasty. Here, try the coffee, banana, peanut butter sundae ones, they're the best.

• You have tested your hypothermic limits and found that these can be expanded with pedal speed, layering and hot cocoa.

• Your first question upon regaining consciousness, "Is my bike alright?"

• You agree with the statement; "If everything feels in control, you just aren't going fast enough."

[Melalvai]

That is from the Metal Cowboy's site.
http://http://metalcowboy.com/blog/?p=30
I am a huge fan, his books are so funny, I'm not above being a small commercial for him. He rode across America with his 2 sons (5 & 7 yrs) and wrote a book about it, his other 2 books (one out of print) are about his bicycling on various continents.

[CR400]

Oh, I thought of one the other day. You know you are a bike geek when you can answer average speed, how long it will take to get to point a, and how long will it take to catch someone and you never could before.
Also you know off the top of your head these numbers
6min mile is 10mph
5min mile is 12mph
4min mile is 13mph
3min mile is 20mph
2min mile is 30mph

And the real geeks know the 30 and 15 second incrment averages.