Help! I hate to admit this

[bouncybouncy]

In a backwards way I, too, am doing my own wallowing. I have not figured out why I feel the way I do but the wallowing seems to help seek inside and figure things out.

It is comforting to know that the feelings are normal and that you are not alone...at least for me.

Sending you Butterflies and may you find peace and health soon....


btw: I am a photographer lost in the cave of doing photoshop for others, not able to find the time or motivation to do my own...looking at your website gives me bits of inspiration that is slowing building to the point of longing to produce my own images....Thank You!

[LBTC]

Thank you, Bouncy! It does help to feel less alone! But I'm sorry for the situation you're in and hope that you can find a way to a better place for yourself!

I've lived in a negative town, worked in an office with terribly low morale, tried to keep biking in a horribly fractured community, and finally DH and I decided to move. It's been a huge change and the only negative is this health issue. On the other hand, the health issue would probably still exist, but the town I was in before didn't have the same facilities so I would probably not yet have a diagnosis!

I think what I'm trying to say, bouncy, is that you owe it to yourself to explore some options and see what you can change so that you can love life again! Even if the only change is to find an hour a week with your camera and your eye and no other distractions.

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies to you,
~T~

[han-grrl]

Having a ruptured ulcer, and surgery and giving up my favorite flavors, i totally understand.

Remember to eat to live not live to eat. I try to keep things in perspective.

[Bikingmomof3]

T,
I have lived with chronic pain for quite some time and I still have pity parties for myself. I find them actually healing in a way. I like the way Knot described them.
When I had my stroke I had a lot of issues and frustration. Why me, why at my age, etc. The limitations placed on me where not food restrictions, rather I was told I could not drive, ride my bike, swim, etc...and the medications just made me feel even worse. It took me quite a while to get over the anger/denial phase.
I think for a lot of us, when told we have something that is forever going to change us, we need to go through the stages of grieving until we come to acceptance. I accept what has happened to me, but that does not mean I give up! I ride my trainer on occassion-it is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I do it. I do not drive-yet-as I would not want to be the cause of an accident, ever! I do run, but never alone. I could go on and on, boring everyone.
My point is a simple one, we all learn to deal with the hand we were dealt. And it is very normal to go through various emotions and it is good to reach out to others, to help ground us. You too will become a survivor and rise up inspite of your disease. *Hugs*

Hopefully, this made sense.

[Duck on Wheels]

I agree with UK and BMo3. Very few go through life without any hardships whatsoever. Crohns is a tough one, but to live with. Still, your emotions are going to yo-yo over this, especially so early with the diagnosis while you're still working out how to manage it. Think of this like breathing -- out with the bad air, in with the good. Don't deny your emotions. Allow yourself to wallow when you need to. Let yourself have a good cry. Then when you sense you're bouncing back, draw those good feelings in deep. Congratulate yourself on finding that recipe for -- oh, say banana marengs -- that tasted so delicious and slipped through your guts with no pain. Be proud of how you managed to find a toilet in the nick of time. Be super proud of how much you're biking and working out!!! In other words, give the positive feelings all the boost you can when you sense them easing back in. But don't waste energy denying the bad ones when they're there; better to find a good warm blanky and a weepy movie and let them out.

Hugs and ... well, the butterflies are all hibernating here now, but I have pictures to remember them by.
Duck with Crohns.

[LBTC]

ICongratulate yourself on finding that recipe for -- oh, say banana marengs -- that tasted so delicious and slipped through your guts with no pain.

Hey, do you have that recipe?? Maybe I can start congratulating myself tonight!

Thanks again for your words of wisdom. I'm going to read through all of them again tonight and try to "digest" all of these wonderful thoughts. At the moment, the headache is starting again. I'm off to get another tall glass of water and something "yummy" to eat. Oh, it would be nice to not be at work today!

Hugs and butterflies to you all (my butterflies are virtual, so they don't hibernate at all, and they come in the best colours - all of your favourite colours and patterns, not just the silver and brown ones I see all of the time)

~T~

[KnottedYet]

I don't know if you are into medition, but here's one I learned that I really like:

Inhale - pull in all the negative stuff that surrounds you, suck it right in!
Pause - transform that negative stuff into the positive stuff you want.
Exhale - breathe that positive stuff out so that it surrounds you instead!

Repeat ad infinitum!

[Wahine]

Hey T,

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling down. From what I can tell, this is not your natural state. I agree with Knott, you need to treat this like an injury and if you treat it right, it will heal sooner. If you treat it wrong, you'll end up back near the beginning and will have to start all over again. So try to not fall off the wagon.

Remember too that you're body is used to some of the foods that you are avoiding right now and that may be contributing to your melancholy. So remember that this too shall pass.

And BTW, I got a letter from my friend Tam in Vernon, she said she e-mailed you back but hasn't heard form you. You really should hook up with her. I know Tam through an Acupuncture course we took together in China. She might be able to give you some advice to help you along through this.

E-MAIL TAM!!

Hugs and virtual butterflies to you.

BTW - have you ever been to that cool butterfly place at Niagra Falls? It's amazing. If you're ever there you MUST go.