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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Allentown, PA
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    How to help friend quit smoking

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    I have a friend who wants to quit smoking, and I want to be supportive in any way I can. But I've never smoked, so I have no idea what I can do to help other than to go through the house and throw away all the ash trays.

    To anyone who's quit, what has worked? What should I do as a friend? What doesn't work? Any words of wisdom?
    ~ Susie

    "Keep plugging along. The finish line is getting closer with every step. When you see it, you won't remember that you are hurting, that anything has gone wrong, or just how slow or fast you are.
    You will just know that you are going to finish and that was what you set out to do."
    -- Michael Pate, "When Big Boys Tri"

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,824
    Susie,
    I do not know what to tell you. When I quit smoking it was because I truly never, ever wanted to smoke again. I quit cold turkey and never looked back. Each person is different. My neighbours keep trying and succeed for a few weeks then lapse back. What helped me the most was supportive non-smoking friends. I also (for a few weeks) avoided situations where I would want to smoke. I wish your friend the best of luck. It is difficult to quit. You are a wonderful person to want to help. Your friend will appreciate that.
    Jennifer

    “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
    -Mahatma Gandhi

    "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."
    -Aristotle

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,548
    the first right thing you can do is not be a smoker yourself, not allow smoking in your car and your home.
    But... smoking cessation HAS to come from the smoker. Yes, you can annoy them to death with information they already know, and chance ruining your friendship.
    THEY have to do it.
    Mimi Team TE BIANCHISTA
    for six tanks of gas you could have bought a bike.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Pendleton, OR
    Posts
    782
    Ditto what Mimi said. My poor DH has tried several times to quit. He's trying right now, but I still don't believe he really WANTS to quit. When your friend is a grouch, just realize it's the withdrawal and not you. I hope the friend makes it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Alaska
    Posts
    2,201
    every time i see my friend who quit a year ago, i tell her congrats and good job. even when it was only one or two days out.
    "Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." – William C. Durant

    I click here to help detect breast cancer.

    I click here to help feed animals in need.


    I play this game to help feed people in need.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Suitcase of Courage
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    556
    I got some good answers to the same question a couple of months ago on this forum. Here is a thread link: http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showt...hlight=smoking
    Life is like riding a bicycle. To stay balanced, one must keep moving. - Albert Einstein

    In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured. -Gordon B. Hinckley

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    1,940
    I used to smoke, 20 years ago, and quitting was THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I picked up a nasty gum chewing habit, but so what!

    I had to avoid all triggers, no alcohol or coffee. I also started exercising a lot.

    Good Luck to your friend...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Pendleton, OR
    Posts
    782
    A sorta funny aside to this. I got my DH some of the Commit lozenges and the gum. He looked at the lozenges and said--oh, it says it might not be safe for diabetics. -- Yeah, right, like smoking is!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Flagstaff AZ
    Posts
    2,516
    I smoked in my early 20's. I have pretty strong willpower, so I really just decided that was it and I did not smoke after that again. It was hard, especially the first couple of weeks, but if you can get thru the first couple of weeks, your friend will be fine. You really have to want to do quit. I really did not want to smell like smoke anymore; and I knew it was bad for my health so I decided and went cold turkey. I have to admit that into my second week, I bought a pack of cigs, lit one up in my truck and went uGGGG. It tasted terrible so the only time I have ever littered intentionally in my life, I threw the pack of cigarettes out the window and never lit up again!

    I think it helps if you try to change your lifestyle at the same time you quit smoking. I know if I was trying to do something aerobic in my life, it would have helped me quit smoking. There are also all the tricks, nicotine patches, and hypnotism if just wanting to stop doesn't work.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Mass
    Posts
    431
    Hi Susie!

    Originally posted by Offthegrid:

    To anyone who's quit, what has worked? What should I do as a friend? What doesn't work? Any words of wisdom?
    I am very happy that your friend wants to stop smoking. She has to REALLY, REALLY want to stop, in order to be successful, long-term.

    My stop smoking "quit date" was March 16, 2003 .

    I WAS a very addicted, heavy smoker. At least 2 packs/day. I have an "addictive personality".

    I found help through the American Cancer Society. I decided to call them to see if they had any programs to help people stop smoking. I was connected to a smoking cessation counselor (Anita), who helped me immensely. I made the decision to use the Nicoderm patch to help. <<-- The patch really helped me! My husband, Ben, was extremely supportive .

    I REALLY, REALLY wanted/needed to stop smoking. I couldn't walk 1/8th mile without being terribly out of breath!

    To "take place of the cigarette" (hand to mouth thing), I used cinammon sticks (the kind you put in hot apple cider ) & lollypops. I think that these two things were key (for me, anyway).

    I think it would be very nice of you to purchase some cinammon sticks & lollypops (tootsie roll ) for him/her. That way, when they've made up their mind to "try and stop", you can show your support by giving those "stop smoking" helpers.

    It's one of the hardest things I've ever done, but it really is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. The smell of cigarette smoke sickens me now !

    I wish your friend (and anyone else who is trying to stop smoking) much luck in their attempts. I know that their heart & lungs will LOVE THEM!

    Peace & love to you and yours,

    Denise


    "He who is cruel to animals becomes hard also in his dealings with men. We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals".
    Immanuel Kant

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,548
    Quote Originally Posted by spokewench View Post
    I smoked in my early 20's. I have pretty strong willpower, so I really just decided that was it and I did not smoke after that again. It was hard, especially the first couple of weeks, but if you can get thru the first couple of weeks, your friend will be fine. You really have to want to do quit. I really did not want to smell like smoke anymore; and I knew it was bad for my health so I decided and went cold turkey. I have to admit that into my second week, I bought a pack of cigs, lit one up in my truck and went uGGGG. It tasted terrible so the only time I have ever littered intentionally in my life, I threw the pack of cigarettes out the window and never lit up again!
    .
    wow, what a powerful story!
    yeah, Aint Doody, he's worried about the gum, but the cig's are okay.
    Mimi Team TE BIANCHISTA
    for six tanks of gas you could have bought a bike.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    the foggy wetlands,los osos,ca
    Posts
    2,860
    My dh and I celebrate 5 years of no smoking on Feb 15th. We will be in hawaii for that celebration.
    Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
    > Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Blessed to be all over the place!
    Posts
    3,433
    I've never smoked...never needed to...the second hand smoke in the house as I grew up was thicker than fog! No one will ever smoke in our houses or cars, either.

    My parents gave up a 1 carton/day habit cold turkey about 16 years ago...when our DD was born. We said they couldn't hold her unless they stopped because we didn't want them associating the odor with family.

    To their credit, they stopped and haven't gone back! I believe they are alive today because of it! I know...it's TOUGH LOVE, but it worked!

    Of course, the second hand smoke permanently stunted my growth!
    If you don't grow where you're planted, you'll never BLOOM - Will Rogers

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Posts
    2,609
    A quit-smoking goody basket! Cinnamon sticks and lollipops, or what worked for me: red Twizzlers, pumpkin seeds, mini-wheats and edimame. And, stuff to keep her hands busy. Maybe some wool and knitting needles, or something like that. Needlepoint - it's easy.

    For one friend addicted to chewing tobacco, I just got her all the available flavors of Nicorette.

    And, toss in the patch for good measure.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Allentown, PA
    Posts
    587
    I *love* the gift basket idea! I'm going to do that!

    I also agreed I'd give up my disgusting habit of picking my hangnails in support. It's gonna be really tough (although of course not as tough as giving up smoking). I've been doing this since I was a little kid. My dad does it, too.
    ~ Susie

    "Keep plugging along. The finish line is getting closer with every step. When you see it, you won't remember that you are hurting, that anything has gone wrong, or just how slow or fast you are.
    You will just know that you are going to finish and that was what you set out to do."
    -- Michael Pate, "When Big Boys Tri"

 

 

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