DH Health Issues... How do you cope?

[KnottedYet]

(((Haudlady)))

I think it is utterly sweet that you stayed with him while he made the appt. That just about brought me to tears! He was scared, and you stayed with him. What more could anyone want? That's true love, in my book.

Meanwhile, come to us when you're scared, and we'll stay with you metaphorically.

(((((more hugs)))))

[Pax]

(((((Haudlady))))) I'll be thinking healing positive thoughts for both you and your DH. I'm glad that you have each other.

[Triskeliongirl]

As the others have said, he has to take the symptoms seriously and see a doctor, but the symptoms don't mean he has a serious problem. My sister freaks out everytime a screening test indicates more testing, but the older we get the more we have to realize that screening tests are just that, screens, and until we have a confirmed diagnosis we have to assume the best. That doesn't mean you ignore warning signs either, you get them checked out, but you assume the best until told otherwise, or you go crazy with worry. Here is hoping it is something very manageable and mundane (like maybe not enough roughage in his diet). PLEASE KEEP US POSTED as this develops.

[Brandi]

Oh my gosh you poor things! what stress you are having now. Just be loving and supportive with eachother. Now this brings me to an interesting observation here. Am I not correct but did you not ask for advise on sparking things up between you two? I think you have just found two reasons why things have been not so active lately. Stress is a huge killer of sex and thyroid can play a big part in it as well. If your husnabd has been stressed over this it is no wonder the interest has been lacking. Once everything settles down you should bring this up or maybe you won't have to. I will be thinking healing thoughts for you and your husband. Keep us informed on he's condition. By the way my friends husband had the same thing and everything was fine.

[emily_in_nc]

I won't reiterate what everyone else has said -- you've received some great replies here. I just want to add that at 34, the likelihood of your DH having colon cancer is a lot less than some of the other medical problems mentioned here (hemmorrhoids, Crohn's, etc.) It's possible, but cancer incidence increases with age, and it's pretty uncommon in one's 30s.

I'll keep you both in my thoughts -- health scares are no fun, but I'm sure your DH will feel a lot better now having told you what was going on. That's got to have been a terrifying and stressful thing to hold inside for so long. Poor guy!

Good luck and keep us posted....

Emily

[colby]

Haudlady, your DH is lucky to have you by his side. Hopefully his appointment went well, at least in the perspective that it's a step toward knowing what the problem is. Sending good luck and well wishes your way...

[annie]

Haudlady,

I am hoping you and your DH get good news after his doctor visits and tests! Keep talking and holding on to each other and you'll get throught this.

My hubby was diagnosed with rectal cancer (same as colon cancer only diff location). He went through chemo, radiation, and finally, surgery. It's been over three years now and he is cancer-free and feeling fine. Cancer is treatable. It is curable. I hope and pray you don't have to worry about this, but if you do, just know that it is beatable. Try not to be too frightened.

many (((((((())))))) and good thoughts coming your way,

annie

[crazycanuck]

Haudlady-Ditto what everyone else has said. Please take care of yourselves, keep us updated and remember we're here if you need to vent.

Good thoughts headed your way.

c

[Duck on Wheels]

... And do your best to reassure your DH and be with him at the doctor's, etc.

Good suggestion. If your DH is willing, or maybe even asks you to come along, it's often a good idea to have a second set of ears, someone who can maintain a smidgen more emotional distance and thereby remember things more precisely, maybe even take notes. If your DH would rather go alone, though, then don't sweat it. My experience in the US is that the really good docs are quick to hand out written info on any serious or complex issue (new diagnosis, new meds, new treatment regime).

[Haudlady]

Thank you all. I'm reading and re-reading your words, and I appreciate you more than you know. I think you are probably right, in relation to my other thread... both about stress being a factor and scares like this bringing people together. We have experienced this before - when DH and I had been dating for a few months, I got kicked by my horse and broke my hip. It was amazing how much DH was there for me (especially considering we weren't living in the same house then) through that. I guess that's how it works.

At the appointment yesterday, DH's doctor ruled out the simplest causes, so he is being scheduled for a colonoscopy. DH seemed surprised and happy that I wanted to go with him... even if I'm just sitting in the waiting room I want to be there.

I didn't go with him yesterday, so when we got home we made a fire in the woodstove, settled in, and talked for a while. Considering how little we know right now, I think we're doing okay... he's cracking jokes about the procedures. I know that's partly a defense mechanism, but I don't mind... at least he's talking about it. I told him about writing to you guys about it - he didn't mind at all, and had a few questions about your replies. So, thanks from both of us.

Somehow, that thyroid issue doesn't seem so bad now! My doctor's office hasn't called me back yet about whether or not I can get a re-test, so I'll have to hound them. I would have thought that they could have an answer by now - I asked on Tuesday, and it's Thursday now! I'm really glad it came up, though, because I don't know how much longer DH would have waited if we weren't having all those health conversations earlier this week.

I am on the edge of tears, and have been since last night. I'm NOT a 'crier,' so it's an odd feeling for me. I'm just waiting for the okay to talk to my stepmom about this... I feel like I'm going to burst. I brought a fistful of my favorite CDs to work; sometimes music helps. I am having a VERY hard time concentrating here - and I have a long list to do. What I really want to do is go home and weave on my loom. It always settles me, and makes me calm... plus, I'm making a scarf for DH (oddly, I started it at the beginning of the week before we had all of this start)... I want to finish it so he can have that bit of me with him right now. Maybe I can finish it this weekend.

[Pax]

... I'm making a scarf for DH (oddly, I started it at the beginning of the week before we had all of this start)... I want to finish it so he can have that bit of me with him right now. Maybe I can finish it this weekend.

That is so sweet! I know how loved I would feel if I had a scarf made by my honey all warm and snug around my neck.

[Brandi]

The ball is rolling now for him and that is a good thing. I had a health scare last year myself with my throat. It felt like something was in it every time I swalloed. Well I used to smoke. I haven't in 5 years but there is always that thought in your head. I had no idea how scared my dh was till I walked out from having a scope put down my throat . it turned out my tonsils get inflamed sometimes cause of my allergies. But when I finally came out of the dr'd office to the waiting room he had this look on he's face I have never seen. And when I said everything was fine he just melted.
He said the appointment was taking so long and it made him worry even more. I told him they had to numb my nose and throat first and that takes like 15 minutes to take effect. So find out the details so you aren't worring while sitting there.
He was worried too about the fact that I used to smoke and that there possibly could have been something. But because I am still in my 30's and healthy more or less it wasn't really a threat. This all happend right before we went on vacation. It turned out to be a great vacation. We were both relaxed and not a worry. I guess my point here is that you guys are talking and that is a good thing. I think if my dh and I said to eachother what are worries were we would have both just said to eachother " oh everything is going to be fine" we would have both been calmer about the whole thing.
When is he's colonoscopy? Waiting is by far the worst. Keep talking. It definatly helps. Hold he's hand this is a good time to start being more touchy feely. Touch is a great healer.

[SalsaMTB]

Just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and your DH. I hope the tests go well. It's hard dealing with a loved ones problems, knowing you have to be the strong one.

[LBTC]

Haudlady and DH, how are you doing today? I hope you're enjoying time together, not spending your time worrying! When will the next test be?

I have the same test at the end of Feb and have not had it before. I've been told the preparation is worse (the drink to clean everything out) and that I should be sure to have tissue with moisturizer for the night before. A minor annoyance, really, but thought you'd appreciate the heads up.

Take care and keep hugging each other!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Wahine]

Well, onto tthe next step. I'm glad the two of you are talking and coping reasonably well. A couple of tips for the upcoming procedure:

The prep is horrible and be prepared to be running to the bathroom, a lot!

The prep procedure depletes your electrolytes so you should take in as much sodium as you can, in the form of broth and other clear fluids. If there is not enough sodium in the system, there can be some side effects such as general pain and muscle cramping.

The test itself is not a big deal.

Take care and good luck. Keep us posted.