something i'd like to know? (re: housework)

[mimitabby]

Paying bills/managing household finance - SheFly& dH
Car maintenance (taking cars for inspection, regular maintenance) - Hub
Grocery shopping - Hub

Hub, how do you get Shefly to pay your bills?

[IFjane]

Vacuuming - usually IFjane
Laundry (incl folding & putting away) - usually IFjane
Cleaning bathrooms - IFjane
Emptying kitty litter - SO
Feeding dogs -Don't have dogs
Tidying and dusting - IFjane
Paying bills/managing household finance - both of us
Car maintenance (taking cars for inspection, regular maintenance) - both of us
Grocery shopping - SO
Loading/unloading dishwasher - both of us
Making moring coffee, refilling coffee cups - SO
Knowing where EVERYTHING is, including SO's stuff - IFjane - example: this morning on my way to work I had to deliver SO's WALLET to him because he couldn't find it (it was on his bedside table )
Cooking - SO
Walking dogs- No dogs
Lawn care - hired out....
Bike maintenance - both of us


I feel very lucky because SO does so much - much more than my ex ever did (one reason for the divorce). One decision we made last year was to hire out the yard work - though we both love to putter out there - but we have about 1.5 acres to mow & it was taking way too much of our "play" time. It is not cheap but is one of the best investments we have made in each other.

[margo49]

In theory 50-50 from the beginning (22 years almost).
In practice 50 -50 altho' over the last 10 years we have specialised more (I do the bathroom (standards), The Friday Dinner (coz I'm the best cook), the laundry (coz I love it), I change towels and sheets (coz the rest just don't care); SO does more (and for some periods all) of the shopping (coz he sticks to the list), the chopping of the firewood (I became incapacitated so I taught him 10 years ago and DS#1 is qualified too and DS#2 is ok with the tomahawk ).
The one who cooks doesn't do the dishes, Dad gets a rest on Friday night and the kids split up the clear-up and dishes between them, emergencies involving both of us means the home front devolves to DD are some of our family customs.
That said we can each run the show of 3 kids cat and dog alone . This has been critical when it's been critical.
The kids are doing a lot more now and we (me + 3) have been known to do the Friday blitz and then all sit round with a beer feeling virtuous! SO is too virtuous for even beer!

My basic theory tho' is that it is not so important what you do but that your contibution is remarked upon from time to time and appreciated and respected.I developed this in my late 30's when I met a lot of people living very traditionally/stereotypically. And I saw that he thought she was a great at running the house and family and she thought he was a good provider and dealt with Matters of State to the benefit of all the family. [I myself would never live like this for all the appreciation in the world ... but I have seen it wenough to know it can work just as well as the most carefully worked out scheduled "equality"]

[SheFly]

Hub, how do you get Shefly to pay your bills?

I wondered where those extra bills were coming from...