something i'd like to know? (re: housework)

[Mr. Bloom]

...clears his throat...pauses at the prospect of being in a minefield ...and says:

I think that the basic issue comes to parity and balance. As Rocky said to his brother-in-law when asked what he saw in Adrian's - "well, it's about gaps...I got gaps, she's got gaps...we fill in each other's gaps". So, we should each provide to our strength and share the load.

Having said that, as to single income households, I sincerely feel that:

• The role of "homemaker" is undervalued by society and is often misappropriated as a servant role (you know, Archie Bunker yells: "Edith, where's my slippers...EDITH")
• Likewise, the breadwinner in a single income family is often expected to expected to burn the candle at both ends...employee all day...then taking an 'equal' share in the housework at night.

So, Mr. Silver straigthens his tie, hopes that he's not made anyone mad, and goes to the men's room to comb his hair...

[7rider]

DH and I both work - outside the home and inside the home.
In the house, we both have our "chores" - I cook, he does the dishes. I clean the upstairs, he cleans the downstairs. He does the bunnies' litter boxes, I make their salads (shhhh, I got the better half of the deal on that one!). We split laundry.
So...summary...we split. We find a way.

[emily_in_nc]

I have a somewhat unusual situation in that I am the one working full-time, and my husband is retired. He was laid off from a software design position (same thing I do) during the telecom bust of 2001, so his situation kinda segued from unemployment to retirement. Our debts were all paid off and we don't have children, so we really didn't need to make two salaries; as a result, we jointly decided that it would improve our joint quality of life to have him home, so we wouldn't have to spend all our free time after work and on weekends doing chores, errands, and projects as we'd been doing for years.

So, as a stay-at-home husband, he does about 75% of the housework, including most of the cooking, laundry, shopping, vacuuming, trash duties, bathroom cleaning etc. He has always done most of the heavier maintenance duties such as cutting/chopping wood, making/tending fires (we have a wood stove), landscaping, home repairs, filling bird feeders, etc. I do things that he just doesn't notice, like dusting, floor mopping, ironing, plant watering, straightening up, countertop wiping, putting things away, and keeping things organized in the household.

I feel kind of guilty because he does so much now, but when we both worked full-time, we were much more 50/50 with the division of labor, and I am sure we'll be that way again once I retire. For now, the way we do it works for us. He makes an attempt to get as much done during the week as possible so that we can either have fun on the weekends or do major projects that he needs my help on (we are currently tiling a sunroom floor, for example).

A lot of women I talk to seem to think our arrangement is really odd, but it works for us. As long as both people are satisfied with the arrangement so that there's no resentment, that's what counts....

Emily

[Mr. Bloom]

I feel kind of guilty because he does so much now

A lot of women I talk to seem to think our arrangement is really odd, but it works for us.

I personally don't find it odd...nor do I think you should feel any guilt at all. It's great that it's working so good! I think it should be applauded!