something i'd like to know? (re: housework)

[HappyAnika]

I should also mention that when we have a baby (hopefuly in the not too distant future), we are hiring a cleaning service. I feel like I barely have enough time for my dogs as it is. I will gladly pay someone to dust and vacuum so I can spend more time with my family.

[mimitabby]

I will gladly pay someone to dust and vacuum so I can spend more time with my family.

Dust? Vacuum? what are those? (tore up all our carpeting years ago!)

[five one]

Dust? Vacuum? what are those? (tore up all our carpeting years ago!)

We just had hardwood floors installed in all but the bedrooms. Best investment ever in terms of keeping things cleaner and less dusty. It's actually fun to run the swiffer around.

[Sheesh]

I'm always harping on the "fairness" of the housework. I refuse to do it all, and I'm more than happy to leave something until Mr. Sheesh gets around to taking care of it.

If I cook, he does the dishes. I do the laundry, he takes out the garbage. I take the dogs to the park so he can clean the floors without them getting in the way. He takes the dogs out in the morning, I take them out at night, and whomever gets home first takes them out in the evening.

I clean one bathroom, he cleans the other.
This system seems to work well for us.

[Artisan]

I only work two days a week. So I pretty much do most of the housework. We do split the laundry between us. I much rather do most of the housework than get up at 5 in the morning each day to go to work. I'm sooooo not a morning person. When I did work full-time we shared the housework, but his idea of clean and mine are totally different.

[Thorn]

When SO moved in, my stipulation was that we would hire a cleaning service. Wonderful man that he is, SO has this ability not to see messes. This, of course, extends to things like the grass--it could be 6" tall and he would say, "oh, do you think it needs cutting?"

So early on, I bought "relationship insurance" in the form of a cleaning person. Besides the fact that she is the most wonderful person I've ever met (I mean, she leaves flowers, gives Christmas gifts to the cats, works around schedules....). As long as we're a two income family, "relationship insurance" is a requirement.

Of the things that are left, well, they just get split. Who does most? Depends upon the week and the schedules. But we both feel guilty that the other does more...so I think it must be even.

[Mr. Bloom]

Mr. Silver walks in the room...

...hears the question...

...and goes

In an abundance of judiciousness, Mr. Silver poses a question to the group before he responds (and he will respond...):

How does one differentiate expectations in the following situations:

• A couple where both parties are employed, vs.
  A couple where only one member is employed and the other is a "homemaker"

[Bikingmomof3]

Clever Mr. Silver.

I am a SAHM, so naturally I do more aroung the house while DH is off earning an income. I would say for the most part our home life is equally split. I usually have dinner ready. I was on a ban from driving, so he was picking up our 3 boys and running errands. I was cleaning, doing laundry, making lists , etc.

We have a good balance. I have the children trained well (thank goodness they are teens) so we actually all have work to do around the house.

I did not truly answer much of anything. Long post short, it all depends on the day.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think there are no hard and fast rules that can apply to every couple.
I think the most important thing is for there to be an agreement and discussion about what things should be done by whom. The point is that negotiation/discussion should leave an end result that is both fair & satisfactory to both people. That INCLUDES taking into account hours spent doing various things like outside breadwinning jobs, part time jobs, housework, childcare and transportation, yard work, shopping, cooking, pet care, taking out garbage, etc. All are essential work to lead our daily lives normally.

DH and I sorted it all out when we moved in together and worked out the labor sharing to our mutual satisfaction. By "labor", that includes BOTH money making work and the also essential work required to maintain the house, get and prepare food, etc. We also are happy to "cover" for each other if someone wants a break from some chore or doesn't feel well.