MM - good news about your friend! Still keeping all of ya'll uppermost in my thoughts! Another thought - when my grandmother had cancer and my aunt was the care-taker, we the neices and nephews took turns going over to sit with grandmother so my aunt could have some time away. No matter how much you love some one - there are just times when you have to get out - say for a bike ride. Since they know you well - she may feel comfortable enough to leave him in your care for a few hours while she gets out. Or better yet, have your partner stay with him while you take her out - riding!

as for all us Trek-heads - isn't this board pretty much about just how futile resistance is?