MM, my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer & due to many problems, spent almost a month in the hospital - one week of which was in intensive care. Here is what helped me.

Having people come to the hospital & sit with me. Now that your friend's husband is in a room, you can take your friend out for coffee (or better yet - bring some in & sit in a lounge.) I still remember the people who just sat with me. They didn't even need to carry on conversation. Just the feeling of having support was wonderful.

Bring munchable food. Fruit is always a good choice or anything in a wrapper.

Call often but let her know she doesn't need to return your calls unless she wants to. I was inundated with calls from friends and felt guilty that I didn't have the energy to return all of them.

When he gets out - bring more food. Anything so that she doesn't have to cook is good. Go to the grocery store for her. I was so drained from having to be a nurse, wife, worker (I worked from home) that cooking seemed an insurmountable hurdle.

Take her out for more coffee. I needed to get away from the whole horrible situation more than I realized. Those stolen moments were so precious. When he comes home, he'll undoubtedly be in pain and she'll feel stressed and helpless. Good friends can help ease the situation.

I'll say a prayer for her and her husband. And yes, it certainly makes one realize that life isn't just about "how many miles" or the newest Campy bits.

I don't know how medical care is across the pond, but whenever my husband is in the hospital, I stay with him night and day. Medical mistakes (in the U.S.) count for more deaths than breast cancer. I've caught the staff almost giving him meds that he is allergic to, not hanging his antibiotics when it was time, etc. Plus, he needed me to help to little things - move the kleenex box where he could reach it, get him ice water and just generally be there. Nurses are overwrought and simply don't have the time to do the things that make a hospital stay a little more bearable. I would go home twice a day to feed the 4-legged kids, get some dinner and/or shower and then I'd go back. It's tough, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We just got done with a hernia repair last week - five day hospital stay. (He ripped open all of his abdominal stitches while throwing up during chemo.)

Sorry this is so long. Just had a "little bit" of experience with this one!