A relationship is a lot of work. No matter what. And there is always one person who puts more of an effort in then the other. I am sorry you don't have more positive role models around you. My dh and i are lucky we seem to have friends in normal relationships. And with that statement I mean they have their problems but nothing they can't handle. My husband is lazy in the romatic sence unfortunatly and sometimes I want it to be him that puts out the effort. Like Mr Silver said sometimes just doing laundry and sitting and paying attention to Mrs Silver is all she needs to warm up to him. I know when my husband does the dishes it really gets me hot (jk! thought that would be funny) no but it does make me feel like he cares. But I am still the one that makes him stop to give me a kiss or a hug and he is glad I stop him. I have a major tunnel vision man on my hands. The other day he was in some political conversation on line, didn't hear a peep out of him all day. I finally told him that night "You know I don't like it when you go away like that". He said he was sorry and that it was all for not anyway cause the person he was talking to was not going to budge on the issue no matter what he said. He snuggled with me after that. sometimes you have to be both people in the relationship to make it work. I believe in my dh and know he "goes away" sometimes. I pull him back every time. If I don't he might get lost! And he is grateful that I put up with him.