Child Placement - any attorneys here?

[Bikingmomof3]

(((((((((((((((((Dar))))))))))))))))))))

I have nothing to offer but my thoughts and prayers and contact an attorney.

[anakiwa]

I don't know anything about this, but wanted to second some of the other comments.

Get a lawyer if you can afford one.

Start documenting all of this (even if this issue gets settled, it sounds like this guy is likely to be more trouble in the future). Get a notebook and start logging everything (dates, times: when he drops your son off, when he picks him up, when you offer hime more time, what his respose is, whatever)- if you do wind up back in court you'll be a lot better off if you can recite exactly what happened instead of being in a situation where it's your memory/word against his.

Good luck!

[Brandi]

coming from parents that used us kids as weapon's during their devorce I think keeping this as legal as possible is the best. Trying to prove he is a drinker would be the first thing. get records of the complaints you made about he's prank calling etc...
I am sooo sorry you are having to deal with this. There is nothing worse for a family then this crap! ( sorry)Good luck and hug your kids often and always let them know how much you love them! Mine got lost in all their junk and lost us kids.

[LBTC]

All I can offer is a hug {{{{{{{{{{Dar}}}}}}}}}} and my best wishes for a healthy resolution to this for you!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[doc]

Ugh. Dar I am so sorry you and your son have to go through this. It is so destructive. Definitely go to a women's resource center. You can start by contacting women's shelters if you can't find anything else. Hopefully they can hook you up with a low cost but very knowledgable attorney. Definitely don't try to do this without professional help.

Good luck and I hope this works itself out soon

[Tuckervill]

Dar, I think the advice for a lawyer is right on track. But I have another perspective that hasn't been addressed. First let me say that I divorced my first husband after 4 years and 2 kids. Those two are now grown, and they have shared with me some of their perspective of their growing up years. Second, if your son is in anyway vulnerable to abuse or neglect by being with his dad, adjust this advice accordingly.

I was adamant to make our divorce and custody issues as nondisruptive to their lives as possible. I don't have any problems with him. He paid child support and took the kids when it was his turn and was flexible with the arrangements. We didn't argue. It truly worked out quite well. BUT...

My kids still suffered. I eventually remarried and moved with them 6 hours away. They had a much better life and opportunity as a blended family than with me a poor single mother, and they love their stepdad, so I don't regret getting remarried. However, every 3rd week we drove them back home to see their dad, and it was brutal. Fortunately we only did that for a couple of years, but we were still 150 mies away after that.

My kids have said that they wish we had lived closer to their dad all through their childhoods. Not being able to go see him whenever they wanted was hardest when they were 8 and 9. I wish I had known this. There are lots of other things I wish I had known. We eventually did move back near their dad, and they were so grateful! But by then they were teens and the distance they naturally craved as teenagers was intensified. They needed their dad then more than ever, but they didn't feel so connected, you know? It breaks my heart to hear them reveal their perspective on that time. I didn't know. I couldn't know. I wish I'd known.

I'm sorry your son's dad is such a jerk. But he is your son's dad, and for your son's sake, do everything you can to facilitate the relationship while you still have the power to do so. If there is any way possible to live closer to him, I'd advise you to find that way. Your son will only be a child for a short time. If you blink you will miss it. Far be it for me to suggest you don't sacrifice for him, but maybe you can do a little more, by moving closer. Just for a time.

Good luck with the legal aspects.

Karen

[mimitabby]

gee, Karen
such wise words. My parents divorced when I was 6. I won't go into all my sad story, but you are absolutely right. The children always suffer.