Child Placement - any attorneys here?

[KnottedYet]

I went through a little cr@p with my kid and custody. I found a low-cost attorney through a women's resource center (money was/is not readily available in my little world). It was a great thing to do. I got to see what SKnot's dad could and couldn't do, and got my rights and the custody laws explained to me very clearly. The attorney also had other resouces I could contact.

Document everything, get the papers you have re: his alcoholism and the police involvement, find a lawyer, and get covered.

My custody and child support agreement is open for review every two years, but the restrictions on how things can be changed (and how much) are pretty tight. No major changes allowed for us without very good reason and a full review and more documents, etc. etc.

Your laws may be very different, but if you talk to an attorney you can get a better idea of what can happen.

Is he trying to cow you with the "summers" issue, to get you to accept less child support?

[bouncybouncy]

sorry...no kids...no advice that others have not already said...just wanted to say good luck!!!
...and maybe something to keep your hopes up in the near future: you got yourself a little crew support (water-bottle-hander-over) for all those races when this is over and he is a bit older
well wishes your way------>

[mtbdarby]

I went through a little cr@p with my kid and custody. I found a low-cost attorney through a women's resource center (money was/is not readily available in my little world). It was a great thing to do. I got to see what SKnot's dad could and couldn't do, and got my rights and the custody laws explained to me very clearly. The attorney also had other resouces I could contact.

Document everything, get the papers you have re: his alcoholism and the police involvement, find a lawyer, and get covered.

My custody and child support agreement is open for review every two years, but the restrictions on how things can be changed (and how much) are pretty tight. No major changes allowed for us without very good reason and a full review and more documents, etc. etc.

Your laws may be very different, but if you talk to an attorney you can get a better idea of what can happen.

Is he trying to cow you with the "summers" issue, to get you to accept less child support?

Knot, I know that's where he's going with this. I expect him to ask me to pay him child support for the time he has him, which I doubt would happen. I did find documentation on the 2 year review from the initial agreement but only under certain circumstances. I'll talk to my buddy tonight and see if he has any info for me. Thanks for the ideas - I'll keep you posted.

[Aggie_Ama]

I agree with Knot about trying a women's center. A friend of mine is going through a nasty divorce with a man that has some personal issues (drinking, some emotional). The shelter considers her enough of a mental abuse case to help her find a low cost lawyer. I hope this works out best for you and your little guy.

[KSH]

Well, this sounds horrible. I don't have kids and I have no idea how hard this must be on you.

I wonder though... for him to challenge the visitation agreement... won't he need a lawyer? Lawyers don't come cheap and you mentioned something about him not having gas money to drive 160 miles?

Will he even have the money to pay for a lawyer?

And like Knotted said... I think he's trying to get an extended visitation with him so he can skimp on child support... and yes, even get it from you. Sounds like he's doing what he can to get money.

[Hub]

I used to work in Child Support- an 'enforcement officer'.- main goal was to obtain & enforce support orders, especially for folks on public assistance.

Anyway- your court order will remain tied to the original court- if you divorced & neogotiated the settlement, including custody & support, in your home county, that county retains jurisdiction. He's partly right, the support & visitation can be reevaluated every 3 (at least down here) years. You can also petition the court for a review - especially of the support if there has been a dramatic change in your circumstances- like if he got a new job making a LOT more money.

He can threaten not to pay CS, but it's illegal. If you can't get any help
enforcing the the support- you can contact your county Human Services office- they can track where he works- even if he goes job to job-
He would be in contempt of court if he refuses to pay- so once you get a contempt order- he can go to jail.

(It's not REAL easy or fun or fast, but don't let him push you around.)

Good Luck
& keep pedaling!

[Duck on Wheels]

Unfortunately, he may have found some sleezeball attorney who's willing to do this for a percentage of the "take". There are such animals out there in the zoo. So I'd say follow the good advice you've been given: Find an attorney (sometimes there are good ones who offer services through women's centers), get some preliminary advice, and collect documentation ... just in case. He may be bluffing, but you'll sleep better knowing you're prepared should he not be. The last thing you want is for your son to spend a summer with him while he's spending the child support money on booze. Better your son should see his dad only when he's sober.

[Bikingmomof3]

(((((((((((((((((Dar))))))))))))))))))))

I have nothing to offer but my thoughts and prayers and contact an attorney.

[anakiwa]

I don't know anything about this, but wanted to second some of the other comments.

Get a lawyer if you can afford one.

Start documenting all of this (even if this issue gets settled, it sounds like this guy is likely to be more trouble in the future). Get a notebook and start logging everything (dates, times: when he drops your son off, when he picks him up, when you offer hime more time, what his respose is, whatever)- if you do wind up back in court you'll be a lot better off if you can recite exactly what happened instead of being in a situation where it's your memory/word against his.

Good luck!

[Brandi]

coming from parents that used us kids as weapon's during their devorce I think keeping this as legal as possible is the best. Trying to prove he is a drinker would be the first thing. get records of the complaints you made about he's prank calling etc...
I am sooo sorry you are having to deal with this. There is nothing worse for a family then this crap! ( sorry)Good luck and hug your kids often and always let them know how much you love them! Mine got lost in all their junk and lost us kids.