What does turning 40 mean to you?

[LBTC]

...but something doesn't sit right. I'm not where I always thought I'd be at 40.

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here!

Maybe the answer to help you through is some sort of ritual. Joseph Campbell's words around this talked about how rituals, which are sadly lacking these days, were a way of providing meaning and the context of our own story to the passage of time. Perhaps something that marks the significance of having lived through those 40 years, and having become who you are now, with all of your strengths, desires, passions and flaws, is just what you need to ease yourself into the right mindspace to love 40 and love yourself at 40!

If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Trek420]

Heck, I'm not where I thought I'd be *ever*, and it turns out I *love* it here! If it were me, I'd begin now, thinking about all the different aspects of my life, and I'd try to integrate each of them into the ritual somehow. Kind of like the old rhyme for a bride "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" but with more significance for you: something bike, something healthy, etc, etc, etc...

What do you think? A possibility perhaps?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

How about "ride your age" Or twice your age...in metric....backwards....each year on your birthday.

[emily_in_nc]

Ditto to everything said here already! I had a bit of a panic when I turned 40 as well, but I'm in the best shape of my life in my 40s (I'm 45 now), and people mistake me for 35 all the time. With my increased 40s fitness, I weigh what I did on my wedding day in 1985 again. I am also in much better shape financially and career-wise than in earlier decades, get to travel and do fun things, and am doing things I never thought I would do (like hiking the grand canyon, kayaking, and mountain biking!) The 40s is a very freeing decade for women, once you get past the stigma of the age thing -- it's just a number, and it's all in what you make it.

The downside of the 40s for me: losses. I felt that I led such a charmed life in my 20s and 30s in so many ways. In my 40s I've lost my last two grandparents, my father, and my dog. It's been a tough road, and as I get older, I know I face more losses of people I love ahead.

With age really does come wisdom and perspective, though. I like the "me" I am now much better than the younger me. I am also much more accepting of my strengths, weaknesses, quirks and neuroses. I have a much easier time just being who I am and speaking my mind. I like that.

Welcome to the "40s and fabulous" club!

Emily

[7rider]

I'll be turning 40 later this coming summer. Except for the fact that I was out with a busted up knee from a mtb crash, I have to say I was in better shape at 30 than at 40 - physically, at least. Emotionally, financially.... 40 is looking better.
I can't really say that I'm looking forward to, or dreading, 40. It just is. Not much I can do about it, and as someone said....it's better than the alternative!

[Mr. Bloom]

Now, I'm a man

Turning 40 to me meant that I was one day older than 39 and halfway to 80!

[GLC1968]

I tend to look at things a little differently than most. When I turned 30, I felt that it sounded younger than 29. When you are 29, you are almost done with your 20's. At 30, you are BARELY into your 30's and you have a whole brand new decade in front of you. At the time, I was single and unemployed and yet all I could think about was all the possibilities ahead of me!

Now I'm also coming up on turning 40 (in 13 months), and I kind of feel the same way. 39 seems like it's barely hanging on to a decade that is basically over. 40 is new and exciting. Plus, I can't wait to be able to say "I'm 40" and have peole gush over how I don't look like I'm in my 40's!!

Celebrate!!

[IFjane]

Ditto to all - including Mr. Silver!

I am 53 & loving every minute of it. When I was 40, I weighed 36 lb. more than I do now, ate everything fat and/or fried & was miserable. When I was 45, I turned everything around (including getting a divorce that was long overdue), lost weight, got fit and haven't looked back. I am now in a wonderful, 6-year relationship with a terrific man & am having the time of my life.

80 might bother me, but so far none of the other decades have. 40 rocks - enjoy it!

[Velobambina]

I'll be 44 in about a month. To me, it means one year closer to retirement.

[HillSlugger]

I turn 46 this year and I'm happier than I've ever been.

I turned 40 between the time that my marriage broke up and before the divorce was finalized; it was not a great period in my life However, I got to spend the day out rock climbing on a rare 40+ degree March day. It was one of the best ways I ever spent a birth day.

I was not bothered by turning 40, nor was I bothered by the fact that I'd already been going gray for a few years. However, within 6 months of turning 40 I started needing reading glasses That was finally the thing that pushed me over the edge and I immediately started coloring my hair. Heck, it was the last thing I still had control over

[spokewench]

My early 40's were some of the best times of my life. I was fit, happy with myself, and had wonderful friends to enjoy the time with me.

Turning 40 also meant that I was at the bottom of the age group I raced in - YAHOO!

[LBTC]

Turning 40 also meant that I was at the bottom of the age group I raced in - YAHOO!

Now *that's* something to look forward to! Woohoo!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Dogmama]

When I turned 40, I celebrated with a custom bike and a cross-state, 11 day ride. Totally blew my bank account, but well worth it.

[tygab]

I'm enjoying all these answers, and I too felt much better about the "0" birthday - a new decade with all kinds of hopes and such, and of course the age group bump for racing works too (now that I am going to be racing). Thanks for all the perspectives.

[Deborajen]

I'm about to turn 45 and I remember dreading the big four-oh. But it turned out to be no big deal. Forties are a great age, like a lot of the above posts describe. Awhile back, somebody posted a quote from Andy Rooney. It's worth a re-read:

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends.

A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free", here's an update for you. Now 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.



Deb

[RAIDER MOM]

I love 40! My 30's really stunk. I was finally brave enough to get out of an abusive marriage, which turned out to be an awful divorce. Then two years later, How I did it I will never know, but I found my self in another abusive relation ship, (thank god I didnt marry the creep!) we do have a child together
and he was the best thing to happen to me in my 30's. But even that split up wasnt easy either. Then I had cancer. I felt like giving up several times but I have three of the greatest boys a mom could ever have who kept me going. Needless to say I stayed single for 4 years, I decided to give up men. But on my 40th birthday I ran into prince charming, my Dr. gave me a clean bill of health, and I joined my first spin class. Now at 41 I am happy and healthy, and I am still at the top of the hill and the world. Plus people say I look much younger. They are usually in shock when I tell them I have a 21 year old son.
And I am going to be a grandma!!! My youngest is going to be a 6 year old uncle. My middle son is 18.