Sorry I can't really help you with the upper body armour - maybe look at stuff from rockgardn?
Also check out the womens (essential gear for women) thread on Farkin:
FARKIN FORUMS
Never worn an ankle pad at all, I used to sprain or twist my ankles all the time (well still do on occasion) but I think they're pretty used to it. However I have never found it to be a problem with mountainbiking.
And if you don't already know of this site:
Womens Lounge - MTBR Forums
and yet another source of info.... seems pretty Dh/Fr oriented
RideMonkey Forums



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They list a size small on the packaging, but I have not seen them offered on any of the online sites that sell them. I have sent off an email to see if they are in fact making them in a small.