Sorry I can't really help you with the upper body armour - maybe look at stuff from rockgardn?

Also check out the womens (essential gear for women) thread on Farkin:

FARKIN FORUMS

Never worn an ankle pad at all, I used to sprain or twist my ankles all the time (well still do on occasion) but I think they're pretty used to it. However I have never found it to be a problem with mountainbiking.

And if you don't already know of this site:

Womens Lounge - MTBR Forums

and yet another source of info.... seems pretty Dh/Fr oriented

RideMonkey Forums