Desitin (the ointment for baby bottoms) is nice because it is slightly numbing. Also, you will toughen up down there. I don't mean callouses, but you won't be quite as sensitive.

Ditto on bike fit & shorts, however. Seat is important too. I use a Serfas & love it. Make sure your seat isn't too wide. Women specific seats don't fit all of us women.