Heartless Cyclist Haters

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I'm planning to go on our local club ride tomorrow. This was the same 2nd Friday ride that Kathy was headed to when she left us. I may take the same route that she did, around the same time. Maybe I'll see the same recycling truck and I can see if he uses his signal or if his emergency flashers are on (which I was told by another driver recently is their policy). I'm a bit obsessed with creating an image of what she saw last.
Yesterday was one of the best I've had in a while. Today started off with lots of sadness. I expect this will be the case for a while; these ups and downs. I should think of them as "rollers" like we used to blow over on the tandem. Kathy loved to stand up and blast past single bikes on the small uphills. ; )
Keep the rubber side down all.

Maury

Maury,
You are doing all the things that you feel you need to do right now. The image creating thing is totally normal. Do whatever comes to you as an urge, no matter whether the act may on the surface seem odd, morbid, sweet, or sad. Doesn't matter- it's a healing act, and that's good. Avoid what feels just too painful for the moment, you can always come back to it later on if you need to, or not. You call the shots right now.
I spoke with my husband last night about what I would want him to do if I died. I told him that if that ever happened, I wanted him above all to NOT suffer alone and withdraw into himself. I said I would want him to allow all our friends in to surround him with love and strength, and that he should go forward and stay active and a positive force. The thing that would make me unhappiest is for him to go through his pain and grief all alone and in silence.
You are doing the very things that Kathy would have wanted.
Have a good ride tomorrow. Ride on in her spirit.

[Pedal Wench]

I was okay reading this until Trek's description of the 'Missing Stoker' on the tandem. Maury, what great strength you must have within to get through that day. Stay strong, and stay safe.

[horsemom]

I am mostly a lurker here, but this story has touched me.

I am so sorry for your loss, and wish you healing and lovely memories.

Laura

[slinkedog]

Maury, thank you for posting the photo of you and Kathy. It's good to see you two together, doing what brought you joy and fun.

I believe Kathy is incredibly proud of you, for keeping on and staying the course. You are an inspiration. Keep riding through those 'rollers.'

How was the ride today, or did weather cancel?

[Maury Cohen]

The Friday ride was good. I rode the route Kathy was taking a month ago when she was killed en route to the same monthly ride. I was feeling frisky so rode towards the front of the group for a time. I have a tendency to hang back if I realize there are riders back, which I eventually did. This seems to often place me in a 'limbo" between the faster and slower groups.
While I worked to bridge back up to the leaders I made up this Limmerick:
Some fast riders went off at full toot,
By a very circuitous route.
Though somre were much slower,
one kicked in his blower,
Though by coffee his legs were kapuut.
Last evening was the SRCC Holiday Dinner. This is where Kathy proposed to me a year ago, and I didn't want to attend at first but decided I'd have lots of support there so I did go. It was fine until the party broke up. Last year I went home with a Fiancee. This year only memories. I'll tell you, it feels like it's going to be a long "tour" getting through this.

Maury

[Trek420]

Hey Cousin,

Yes, I hear that Kathy got down on one knee and proposed to you?

TE, she was quite a gal.

Hang in there, I imagine it's a long tour but you're welcome to drop in here for the "rest stops" for rest and refueling to take the analogy way too far.

Your cousin

Trek

[run it, ride it]

Tears and condolences from Canada. Kathy sounds like such an amazing woman, and not one soon forgotten.

Roads up here are treacherous in the winter: bike lanes not plowed, and drivers don't expect cyclists on the road. I will have Kathy in my mind with every commute as a reminder to ride safe.