Raindrop, it will be "one day at a time", maybe one hour at a time, but you will make it through. There is no timetable on grief. The why's pop up and go unanswered. In time, it will get easier, but memories will persist. You will go over, and over, and over the issues that keep plaguing you, but time heals if you let it. I found, for me, years after a tramatic event in my life, I still ask "why". I know there will never be an answer. But time has healed and I go on. I look back, question again, and go on. I hope, you too, will find peace.