I'm in awe and humbled by all of your responses. They do help me because I can feel the caring behind all of your words. And, those that shared their own personal grief, thank you for what I am sure, brings up some of those awful feelings that are right on my surface now.

It does help that I can confide in cyberspace because right now, my face-to-face encounters are painful and especially with the people that express their condolences...tearfull.

I really do thank you all. I just needed to share some of my pain in a space that I've always felt had nothing but support. This site is so perfect because of that.