Not sure I should even post this.

[Popoki_Nui]

Dear Raindrop: I can't even imagine what you're going through. I'm not even sure what to say to comfort you, if even such words exist, but we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and you move through this devastating time. Please accept our sincere condolences for your loss.

Alofa Nui Nui.

Sherry and family.

[KnottedYet]

((((Raindrop))))

I am so sorry for your loss.

Grief counselling helped me. If you feel like looking into it, you can call the crisis line and ask for a list of resources. Many of the hospitals have grief groups, too, if you feel a group situation would be more useful. But don't feel like you have to do counselling. Do what works for you.

And we are always here on TE. (((hugs)))

[Tri Girl]

Oh, Raindrop. I'm so saddened for you. That fact that you're returning to work is a huge step forward. I can't imagine your sorrow, but know that we're all here for you. Big hugs....

[margo49]

My brother was an alcoholic and died at 40 - just 6 months after my father. That lethargy you describe is familiar to me. I think it is a natural reaction.
It does pass. But it takes time.
I always think of Douglas and what an amazing person he was. We were 2kids so I am the only one now.

In my prayers...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

My heartfelt sympathy to you. I lost my brother under awful circumstances as well.
There will be a period of numbness...non-feeling, non-reality, difficulty sleeping and difficulty feeling emotions. That's like a self-protecive thing our body does to keep us from shock. After that probably periods of both sad helplessness, missing him terribly, and also anger directed towards him but then turned back on yourself -because being angry at him is not "acceptable".
I say these things because it may help you to know that all this is simply normal and is part of the process of returning to life slowly over the next couple of years. The pain and sadness will never go away, but your life will come back and you will see all this in a different way. The pain will morph into a new strength within you, and one day you will "forgive" both your brother and YOURSELF, and be more at peace about it. This process takes its own path and its own time. Don't be afraid to get some counseling, even just for a limited time to get you over a bad hump.

Please take extra special care of yourself right now. Eat healthy things, excercise on occasion to keep your physical body feeling well. Exercise can also produce chemicals that make us feel better, and calm our minds. Crying makes us feel better too, so embrace that too.

(((((Sending hugs to you....)))))

[margo49]

Yeah, that misdirected anger thing LisaS.H. describes is so real.
Your mind plays some funny tricks on you out of grief and hurt.

[suzieqtwa]

Raindrop,
Im so sorry you are going through this especially during this time of the year. My warm thoughts are with you...it takes time to heal.

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))) Suzie

[mary9761]

((((raindrop)))) I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

[crazycanuck]

Raindrop, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I've no idea what to say as the other ladies have said it all.

Take care of yourself.

c

[sbctwin]

Raindrop, it will be "one day at a time", maybe one hour at a time, but you will make it through. There is no timetable on grief. The why's pop up and go unanswered. In time, it will get easier, but memories will persist. You will go over, and over, and over the issues that keep plaguing you, but time heals if you let it. I found, for me, years after a tramatic event in my life, I still ask "why". I know there will never be an answer. But time has healed and I go on. I look back, question again, and go on. I hope, you too, will find peace.

[Geonz]

{{{{{{{{{{{what they said}}}}}}}}}}}

When I lost my mom... well... healing comes in unexpected places... do not let your heart be troubled ...