I definitely understand the mashing I always felt much better with a lot of resistance, it made me feel strong! Anyhow a few weeks back I was on a club ride going thru a downtown area, I watched my husband mashing in front of me and I began to increase my cadence practicing on moving smoothly...it really felt counterintuitive but before I knew it I was flying! Even increasing in speed with hardly any effort...I had to keep telling my husband to shift gears (he has knee problems) so that he could increase his cadence (it was all pretty fun thru downtown and some small hills, I'm still practicing on large hills). All I can say is keep trying!!! It's pretty invigorating when everything is in order