Thanks, Xeney! There is in fact an 80s garage sale bike sitting in my friend's yard. She offered it to me for free under the declaration, "I can't ride on those skinny tires! And those handlebars make me think I'm going to fall on my face!" Sounds like my cup of tea. Here's hoping her crazy father (meant in the nicest way possible) hasn't sawed it apart and used the steel for his hotrod yet. And you guys think I neglect bikes, lol.