Tygab - so sorry for your loss. Thanks, though, for sharing with us. That will definitely help you as you move through your grieving process.

Nineteen years ago (can it really be that long ago????), my BF/best friend took his life one week before we graduated from high school. Like you, I had no idea that this was coming. What made it even more difficult for me were the questions from friends about whether I knew...

I went off to college and drank myself silly to try to cope. With the help of some good friends, I soon realized that this was not the answer, and tried to effectively deal with my grief in more constructive ways - counseling, writing, TALKING about the events. It really took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that there was NOTHING that I could have done to stop this tragedy from happening.

I have maintained a close relationship with my BF's parents. A couple of years ago I showed up at their house. We all cried and laughed still over our memories. It was really important to them that I still remembered their son. It also maintains a link for me...

May 1 of next year will mark the 20th anniversary for me. The day will not pass without reflection and some sadness, even still.

Know that you will get through this. A year may seem like a long time, but you are on the road to healing. It is a bumpy and windy road. Know that you are not alone on your journey. I am located in MA, so if you ever want a shoulder, let me know.

Hugs,
SheFly