Tygab,

Thanks so very much for sharing this day with us and by helping to spread the importance of awareness. Your pain today is obvious and I hope that by tonight when you lay down to sleep, exhausted I'm sure, you can smile about the good times, however veiled they were, and continue healing.

I can breathe a sigh of relief and say that I've never experienced 'closely' the suicide death of a friend or loved one, but my brother has had two members of his band at different times commit suicide. With the second one, he could plainly see what was coming and begged and pleaded -- tried everything -- to help him realize that there must be some other way to deal with the demons in his life. But even though my brother tried everything he could, Eric still took his life, and left behind three beautiful children who now will grow up without their daddy. Sad, indeed. My heart still hurts at the thought.

I'd say, Ty, take comfort that your friend apparently chose to come to you for company & good times and to help himself smile, if only temporarily. So you did help him while he was alive, but just unknown to you, he had other things going on that were way beyond your knowledge or control. Please don't blame yourself, if you are. You and your husband cared very much for this person, and I'm positive he knew it.

Thanks for your very important post, especially with the Holidays fast approaching. Time to give thanks for friends & family and to let them know they're loved.

~BikeMomma