It's that time of year again: winter lbs

[run it, ride it]

Adult weight and proportions? Oh, no, no.. I decided at age three that I wasn't going to grow up

Unrelated to the winter weight gain, the winter depression/anxiety/paranoia are making themselves heard once again... I should really start seeing my counselor -before- I'm spending my days shaking in a corner. I've never mentioned my weight concerns to my counselor/psychiatrist before as I had, well, more prevalent problems to try and figure out (never did find out what triggered the paranoia--once winter ended I was sane again).

Thanks for the great advice--and I must stress, my anorexia was not intentional! I was responding in what I thought was a logical sense to my irrational weight distribution. ...Wait, that's not helping my case, is it?

[velogirl]

I left New York because I had debilitating SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Maybe you need to relocate somewhere the sun shines year round!

[Bikingmomof3]

You are very young and very small. I remember being both of those. I agree with the advice Velogirl has given you. My body, can fluctuate upwards of 10 pounds in a given day! I stay away from scales or I will obsess.

[run it, ride it]

I left New York because I had debilitating SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Maybe you need to relocate somewhere the sun shines year round!

If only it were that easy! The warmest part of this country is Windsor (across the river from Detroit). I've considered moving down that way before... my boyfriend lives down there, and visiting him is literally like a tropical vacation. But it all depends on what I want to do for school. Nice as the windsor area is, U of Windsor doesn't have any of the graduate programs I'm interested in.

I -do- know I need to get out of the particular university city I'm in--every day is overcast and the wind is enough to drive anyone over the edge. Even my horse gets SAD!

[Geonz]

have you considered a SAD light? http://www.apollolight.com/index.html is the one my friend swears by... reads the paper with it every morning starting around Labor Day.

[run it, ride it]

Yes, I will talk to my counselor about it. They rent them out for two-week stints with a prescription. Last year I got to it too late and they were all on loan. Hopefully if I strike early I'll get a chance this year!

I'm also considering visiting a tanning bed (they have packages that are SAD-specific, whatever that means!)

Oh, grey-skied city, with the wind and the damp and the light pollution--why must I live in you to complete my degree?

[Hammer]

My weight fluctuates by 5 pounds on any given day too. Right now, I think my low is 156 and my high is 160-163. Lately it's 160. Drives me nuts! I do spin class ideally 3x a week if I'm not out of town for work. And I run 2-3x a week.

I continue to try to monitor my food intake. I'm not very good about tracking calories. I think that I hover around 2000 calories, I don't drop weight, but I'm maintaining alright. Some days when portion control flys out the window or I submit to sweets then I overshoot too.

I would like to see if I can maintain a solid 150 instead of a solid 160. But my weight is in my hip/thigh/butt area. I'm just built to be curvy and carry my weight in the area that is MOST difficult to lose it from. But on the good side, my thighs are starting to feel pretty solid. And, I figure that muscle does a better job of retaining water than fat would, so on those days the scale really screws me over.

I try to focus on the notion that I'm a healthy young woman. I'm 5'9", 27 years old. A solid 160 is NOT bad. But, I can empathize with you. When you work so hard, it's tough to see numbers not reflecting your work.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Run it,
I think it's normal to gain 5 pounds or so over the winter months. Why torture yourself about it? And yes, it's totally normal to fluctuate 3 pounds or so depending on one's menstrual cycle too.
It's not good to have only empty skin flap bags as boobs if it's because you are starving yourself. It means you have NO fat on your body at all, and we need some fat to be healthy.
As to the thing you mentioned about the feminine shape becoming more distinct every time you gain and lose weight- when I was 20 -and my 2 daughters as well- we all had very thin willowy body shapes. It was only during our mid 20's that all 3 of us began to get more womanly shapes- with more defined hips, breasts, and thin waists in contrast. It's normal development, and it's meant to be this way. I have some friends that never got hips at all, and they're shaped like little boys still. That's fine, but my genes would never have had that happen, and there's no way I could have kept a willowy figure even if I starved. It wasn't fat, my hip bones just matured!
Hope this allays some of your fears. Don't freak out, try to be kinder to yourself.