Wow, I have never ventured into this area of the forum. I'm only going to comment on the having babies part; But I do agree, lighten up a bit, everyone.
I was one of those weird mothers who never felt guilty, never gave up a whole lot in my life, and managed to raise 2 wonderful now grown up sons. My children were very much planned and wanted after an initial phase where my husband was one step away from the vasectomy clinic. I went back to work after 6 weeks with the first and my husband stayed home with him while he finished school (he had sold his business, so we lived on that $). My husband went back to work when he was 8 months old, coinciding nicely with my summer break. I had no friends with babies at that time, except some people at work, but not really close friends. I didn't ride then, but I did spend a considerable amount of time at the gym. I either went at 5:30 in the morning, or right after work, and kept my kids in daycare until 5 or so, when most people are just getting out of work. My husband did the AM shift and I picked them up. When he traveled, it was a little harder, but eventually we could afford a nanny who came to our house every day. I had son #2 when the oldest was 2 and half. I had 2 kids in diapers (that sucked) for a couple of months. But in the interim I had started going to a playgroup during the summer and several other moms with kids the same age as mine. I had a bad attitude toward them at first, but they eventually became my closest friends. I was always happy though when summer ended and I could talk to people about other things (i.e., the peas issue). Yes, I am sure I was a little guilty of obsessing on my kids, but not like some people I see. During all of this, i was working as a teacher, my husband traveled about 80% of the time on business, and i was also teaching aerobics at a gym, on the board of the JCC, and teaching Hebrew School. I had a lot of support from various friends, babysitters, etc. My husband and I went out almost every Saturday night, and kept doing the same social things we had always done. As my kids got older and we moved to MA, away from all of our great support in AZ, we started doing a lot more activities with the kids. I actually enjoyed them more every year. I will be honest, they were cute babies, but every year just got better. So yes, my life changed, but not enough for me to complain all of the time. We only allowed them to do one activity at a time (plus religious school which was a 2 day a week commitment) and my kids actually spent a lot of time playing outside in the woods (a novel idea to many parents of my students!). This kept a lot of the stress down.I had one friend who used to feed her kids dinner in the car, schlepping them from one activity to another. I swore i would never come to that! We gave our kids a lot of freedom, like going into Boston or Cambridge on the train when they were 14-15 and they went to overnight camp from age 8 up (a very frugal Audubon camp). Now they are actually my friends, at ages 21 and 24 and I don't regret anything we did.
So.... don't let anyone try to instill their vision of motherhood on you. There's more than one way to be a good mom.