Oh my Mourning a loss sucks, I know a little how you feel, I'm mourning my brother lost 3 months ago. But mourning a suicide must be one of the worst ones. I can only imagine what it's like to know that he shared your lives but still wouldn't share the really big issue - whatever led up to him choosing to leave it. That must be really tough!! I can only think that if he didn't tell you, then there's nobody he would have told. Maybe knowing the two of you kept him alive that much longer. I'm sorry - I know "comforting noises" don't really help. I just recognize that feeling of guilt creeping up on you, and the feeling that the loss never goes away even though you try to do something constructive with it, and how the best you can do is try to weave it into the rest of your life and live on a little wiser but a little sadder.