Dear So and So

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear Investor,

Thank you for choosing our new neighborhood to purchase a brand new house to use as a rental. I realize renters are not always bad, but I don't want a bunch of investment property on my street. I can't wait for a new neighbor every year. Maybe they will be the type who don't take care of anything and trash the place- that will help property value. I hope someone buys the house next door to you for the same purpose.

Sincerely,

Loving my new house but not YOU!

[Dogmama]

I once purchased a home and allowed the sellers to rent it from me for a couple of months until I could sell mine and they could find a place to move. Within those two months, they completely trashed it.

Never again.

[Xrayted]

Dear real world:
Please quit slappin' my friends around! They deserve better than that. Just leave 'em alone to live, love and be loved. ((((you know who))))

Thank you.

(don't make me have to talk to you again on this subject)

[mimitabby]

Dear Mother Nature
Please send Keely our weather (I second that!)

Mimi

[Kitsune06]

Dear Real World;
I second X. She might be from PA but she's got that German Farmer Girl mentality, and so do I so you better shape the **** up or you're going to have at least a couple GFGs on your butt and that does NOT = happy times.

Why can't you be more like the "happy fairytale" world we were raised with as kids, in which movies like "Over the Hedge" work because the raccoon doesn't eat the turtle and squirrel, the skunk doesn't eat everything that hasn't sat still too long and the porkies don't smell worse than the skunk in everyday life?

oh, and enough already with the hangovers. I said I didn't get them and you proved your point. Geez.

Thanks. I mean it.
~Aryn "GRR!" Fox

Dear Chanel-
Could you make a perfume that smelled like that clean sweat smell? I'm not talking BO cuz that'd upset people, but something that had that "just out of the gym, and I'm hot and sweaty yet so maul me, Tiger" appeal? I'd be *so* on it. So would all the chicas who like their menpeople and chickpeople all hot and sweaty after a hard ride or hitting the gym. Eh? Eh? You could make big bucks.
*sniffs!*
~Aryn "Whuffle" Fox

[paigette]

Dear coworker's assistant-

Look, honey, I get that I'm a newbie to the organization, but I have 4 years of full time experience in this type of position. I'm sorry you applied for this position & they didn't select you.....take that up with the people who did the hiring! And being the constant "yes" woman to your boss is really pathetic & may be why you were not selected for this position.

Thanks,

[mary9761]

“I don’t condone obesity, but I don’t think we all need to be a f—king size two. It’s a ridiculous goal. You know what’s important? Living well and not being consumed with eating boring salads that you hate.”
-- Katherine Heigl

I LOVE IT!!!

[paigette]

I LOVE IT!!!

It was in People this morning! In a summer Prevention article(yes, I read a lot) she had mentioned her family were all larger people but emphasized that they were healthy....so yeah....I'm loving her right now!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Dear Bike painter, UPS handlers, & Bike shop who will be putting it together in the end,

Please please don't make any more mistakes that will mean yet MORE disappoints and waiting by my poor DH who has been patiently waiting for his new bike for 5 months now. First there was the 2 month delay because of false promises of frames being available by August. Now, just when we were to pick it up finished and ready this weekend....Bike painter made a mistake with the wrong color...now it has to be sent back across the entire country AGAIN to repaint, then back again East. UPS please don't bash this bike up while throwing it off trucks while it's traveling across the country 3 times instead of once.
And Bike shop, please don't lose or misplace the no-longer-made parts that my DH painstakingly located from various parts of the world and gathered and sent to you in anticipation of the right color bike arriving this week (and which is now on it's way back to the opposite far coast again for yet another 3 weeks). Watch over that box and don't let anyone open it and mess with the stuff inside.
My DH is such a wonderful man and so kind and gentle. All he wants is one nice bike. He deserves to not have to suffer any further disappointments than there already have been! Already there are precious few days left to ride this season before the snows fly.
Please don't let anything else go wrong!

[Keely]

Thanks Mimitabby and Salsabike,

We got your weather! Today it has been 10 degrees C with rain, hail and snow it's supposed to be the end of spring!! We needed the rain, so, thankyou Mother Nature!

Keely

[Aggie_Ama]

Dear New Neighborhood Residents,

Please read your homeowner's association rules. DH and I picked a neighborhood with a homeowner's association so it wouldn't look like trash. You just moved in last week as well, please be considerate.

Thanks,
Cranky New Homeowners

Dear Mom,

Thanks for painting my kitchen and living room. I am so happy everytime I come home!

Love,
Your Favorite Daughter

[mimitabby]

Thanks Mimitabby and Salsabike,

We got your weather! Today it has been 10 degrees C with rain, hail and snow it's supposed to be the end of spring!! We needed the rain, so, thankyou Mother Nature!

Keely

Dear Keely
I am afraid you did not get OUR weather. We don't have hail or snow, but today it was raining buckets and there is a wind warning for the whole day. So this incredible low system is still here!!
They even might have to shut down some bridges because the wind is so strong. But I am really really glad that you got the rain you need so all the little critters and plants will survive the season.

Mimi

[Duck on Wheels]

Dear DH,
Thank you for stacking paper and wood in the oven in the morning. If I get home before you all I have to do is light a match, chuck it in, and shut the oven door. In minutes the whole house is toasty warm. Sorry I then promptly fall asleep and let the fire go out so you have to start it all over again an hour later.
Your frozen duck

[mimitabby]

Dear Miss Manners
My sister is again rehashing my husband's behavior from last christmas. We have already been through it all, and as a result he and she are still not talking (she lives in another state). She wants him to apologize, and he feels that she hurt him very badly by telling ME that he was not welcome in her house. So he is expecting an apology, and she is expecting an apology too. Fortunately for me, HE does not talk about this stuff, but SHE wants to rehash everything again.
She even suggested that I am being insensitive to HER feelings... argh..

I am torn between wanting to fix everything and stay on good terms with both of them. I really hate to remasticate old prune pits.
what should i do?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I am torn between wanting to fix everything and stay on good terms with both of them. I really hate to remasticate old prune pits.
what should i do?

How about telling them both that for whatever reason, the old garbage is fouling the air and needs to be cleaned out- therefore, if they BOTH write a simple apology note or phone call to the other....this only works if nobody is allowed to try to tell the other that they were wrong, or why they were upset, or start bringing up the whole scenario again.
Just a simple non-judgemental apology and move forward: "I'm sorry that I may have said or done things to upset you. Can we start over?" If you can get them on the phone and make them each read out that sentance (and nothing more), perhaps they can both start fresh.
The problem persists when one person continues to try to prove the other one wrong. It's old trash that needs to be thrown out already.