Silver is Home

[Triskeliongirl]

Hi Silver- speaking as another recovered crash victim I totally understand where you are coming from. I broke my pelvis, hip, sacrum and L5 vertebrae when hit by SUV who made an illegal right turn into my hip. At first, I was afraid it would hurt too much to ride a bike, so I just hopped onto a gym exercise bike to see that I could physically do it. But, then I was afraid to face traffic, so I just started back with slow easy rides on a car free bike path. After about a month of this I was ready to face the road. The hardest was facing my commute, and to this day I sometimes get panic attacks on the street I had my accident on. The first time I road through the intersection, I burst into tears, not even realizing how much emotion was stuck inside, but it was also cathartic to get it out. My husband also had a serious crash, and the only way both of us can really enjoy riding again was to make rules that decrease the liklihood of another accident. We don't ride in the dark, we don't ride on wet pavement, we take our descents cautiously, we choose our riding buds carefully, only paceline with folks we feel have good bike handling skills, and try to 'ride within ourselves'. We also ride very defensivley. If we don't make eye contact with a driver, we don't go even if we have the right of way if we think they didn't see us and could end up hitting us. I also think its important to give yourself time to heal. Don't feel guilty about anything, when you are ready to ride again, you'll know. And, remember we are hear when you need to talk about it. -eileen

[BeeLady]

Geeze silver - so glad you are home. Right now job 1 is taking good care of yourself; please don't pressure yourself about if/when you'll be back on your bike. That will take care of itself when the time is right.

You are a brave, tough lady. Please be gentle and patient with yourself!


Eileen - I had no idea about your bad wreck. You mentioned an accident, but
I had no idea it involved an SUV and broken bones! I'm so glad you are back cycling and have the voice of experience to help Silver and others.

[silver]

thank you ladies, dang i'm so emotional tonight.

[Bikingmomof3]

((((Silver)))))))
Please give yourself time to heal and allow yourself the emotions. We are here to listen to you. Remember this will take time. Be gentle to yourself and your body.

[latelatebloomer]

Silver, I am so glad you are home and as a human, not a brussel sprout! I wasn't nearly the rider you are when I had my crash (same kind as you, just lower speed, so not so banged up) and I did have to work out some panic. People here really helped out, I took my time but didn't quit. I will always be a cautious rider now - and I think that's a good thing. DH has never gone down, and I hope he never, ever does but I think he's foolhardy sometimes. Hugs to you and Mr.TE

[CyclChyk]

Silver - you have every right to be emotional! Don't sweat the small stuff.

As far as being afraid to ride again, I agree that you will do it at your own pace. Perhaps however, you might feel more comfortable starting on bike specific paths or trails and not on roads with cars.... then slowly as you feel your confidence return, perhaps ride in group rides (safety in numbers). Re-evaluate how you feel at that point.....

Take your time. We'll be here when you need us

[silver]

thank you ladies for listening. I know from past surgeries that there is an emotional breaking point afterwards...for each and every one....I've gone through it....so you'd think that I'd be better at dealing with this.

Even though there was a car involved in Sam's death, there wasn't a car in my accident. Just the road and me. So it's like there's fear everytwhere. last week lying in the hospital bed I would have told you without a don't that this would not get me down ....now I'm not so sure. It's scary to feel this. But it just seems that every time that I start to make progress that I hit another obstacle.
Sorry ....I'm NOT usually like this.

[Dogmama]

Silver, you're entitled to every emotion you feel. The most important thing is that when you are going through hell, keep walking. I think you know that.

[CyclChyk]

Right now, tonite, you are too close to it. And in my experiences, the more you think about it, the closer you are to it, the more emotional you become about it.

The good thing is that you are still healing so you don't have to make any decisions about it tonite. Or even tomorrow. And before you know it, the feelings you have tonite will pass and you will want to ride again. And if you don't, it's OK..... that's the good part about this ~>its your decision to make. Not anyone elses.

[silver]

thanks CC DM and emily. I would usually deal wtih feelings like this with exercise and I can't.

You've done so much to cheer me up. I think that I'll take my narcotics and see it reducing the pain helps my emotional state.

[luv2ride94]

My crash wasn't AT ALL as bad as yours. but when I had nothing to do it was worse cus thinking about it. Find a new puzzle or something to do instead of having time to do nothing but think. I kinda helps for a while. At least it did for me I hope u feel better everday! ~ KT