Should I take a hint?

[bluerider]

Hi Blue...

Yours is not an entirely unfamiliar, or for that matter uncommon, dilemna.

I think if you want to race then riding with a group, at least sometimes, is really necessary. You can be incredibly fit, but you still need good bike handling skills that can only be honed in a group. Not only that but a big issue IMO, is riding in these groups prepares you for the accelerations you'll deal with in the peloton while racing. That's very difficult to train solo, doing the spontaneous anerobic work you get from having to try to keep up with the group.

The personality thing with guys and what not, I totally understand and I don't care for it. There's nothing that says you have to ride with guys, if there is a group of strong women riding in your area. Whatever works for you though!

Best of luck

Thanks Cassandra. I agree whole-heartedly that in order to get faster, I need to ride with faster people. The problem is there are absolutely no women in the area who ride as fast as this crew. They ride more for leisure and it's great to do recovery rides with them. I think I need to suck it up or find another group.

[bluerider]

I personally hate the talking in a group especially in a race. I had a race this season where all they did was talk for the first two laps. Had I not gone off the front we likely would have waited almost the whole race before the pace went above 15mph. I also made the mistake of not committing to the break away so it didn't take to much to catch me. Never look behind you to see if they are following in a race, they are, and if you don't focus on staying in front they'll catch up even quicker. So in a group on non talking racing men I feel at home.

I really prefer not to talk as well! It's not the chit chat I'm after. I guess I should explain that it's the non-verbal vibe I'm getting that is telling me to go home. I am no chatterbox. I'm pretty shy when it comes to these guys and just keep the line. But I think I am intuitive enough to sense when I'm not welcome...*SIGH*...

[Pedal Wench]

You said that they'll drop off and help you bridge up if you're dropped? I can't imagine them doing that if you weren't welcome, especially since it is not a no-drop ride. I would take that as an obvious sign that they want you to hang on.

[Mimosa]

Hi blue

It's a guy thing, just let it glide of your shoulders and ignore them.

I can see why you want to train with them once a week, it's good to train for speed and acceleration. But like stated by one of the girls, don't over do it, once a week is enough.

I am planning on training at the local club on their closed circuit. Once a week they have their clubrace, the group consists maybe out of 40 guys and 2 women (at the most). I don't expect any 'easy stuff' from their side and I don't want it either. I am there to exercise and I want them to make it hard on me, that way I can get better.

The 'guy thing' is already noticable when a faster groups of males pass during a training. I allways grab the last wheel, get into the speed of the group and join in. Often guys respond with that look which sort of says 'what are you doing?'.

[Geonz]

I agree with pedalwench - if there's folks who will bridge you, then they're welcoming you. Could be that the negative vibes are part of the competitive intensity that is going to radiate in that atmosphere, not a personal thing... or could be some folks don't mind, and other folks do.
ONce a week they should be willing to "endure" a wheelsucker, especially if you're getting better.

[bcipam]

Bottom line - guys, especially guys on a training or hard core ride, aren't gonna be into chatting. Personally, when riding hard, I hate to chat as well.

I'm sure no one minds you riding with the group, provided you observe proper proctocol but don't expect special treatment. There are some women out there that can ride any man into the ground. They would expect the guys to push them hard and not except any special treatment and guys, being guys, won't give it. They don't give each other special treatment why would they give any other rider such treatment, even if a woman?.

If you are training to race, or become a stronger rider stay with the guys. If you think they are trying to drop you, try harder to stay with them. Think of the respect you'll earn. Any rider has to earn the respect of the others.

If you are there to socialize, or chat, drop down to the "B" group or maybe the "C". Or mix it up after or at the coffee break.

PS: Guys aren't like women - women like to give "hints" which men typically don't get. Men will tell you to your face or will let you know if they don't want you around. THings are so much simplier with men. Just ride, don't think so much!!!

[bluerider]

Thanks ladies, you have no idea how much your feedback has encouraged me. I keep telling myself not to take it personally but those darn feelings keep creeping up. I will stick with it because I’ve proven before I CAN!

It just really depends on who shows up for the ride, if it’s a mix of more “friendly” guys, they will “police” each other not to get too crazy. But when hammerheads show up, that’s when I’m in trouble. No mercy for the weak! I definitely don’t chit chat with anyone unless they initiate it and I think I have pretty good bike handling skills. I usually try pulling when it comes to my turn but the past few times a few of them told me to not worry about it. So I’m happy to be a wheelsucker, but would never ever want to hold back the pack.

You are so right bcipam, I shouldn’t expect “special” treatment, I’m just another rider. Keep riding, keep getting dropped…come back and repeat until I can keep up!!!

Thanks again to everyone who read this and posted their comments. I really appreciate it!

[Cassandra_Cain]

Thanks Cassandra. I agree whole-heartedly that in order to get faster, I need to ride with faster people. The problem is there are absolutely no women in the area who ride as fast as this crew. They ride more for leisure and it's great to do recovery rides with them. I think I need to suck it up or find another group.

Blue - I'm glad you got some ideas from all the comments and insight that was posted on the thread.

You know, it sounds far-fetched perhaps, but there's no reason you can't put out some flyers inquiring about fast women wanting to ride/train together. Stranger things have happened!

And if none of that works out, well if ever in NM, drop me a line, we'll go riding and drop a bunch of those guys!

[CyclChyk]

You said that they'll drop off and help you bridge up if you're dropped? I can't imagine them doing that if you weren't welcome, especially since it is not a no-drop ride. I would take that as an obvious sign that they want you to hang on.

I agree with Pedal. Is there a chance that maybe since you feel this "vibe" that you intensify it with your insecurities about riding with them?? Maybe some of it is just in your head. I'm not saying that's the case; its just a different view point....

[bluerider]

Blue - I'm glad you got some ideas from all the comments and insight that was posted on the thread.

You know, it sounds far-fetched perhaps, but there's no reason you can't put out some flyers inquiring about fast women wanting to ride/train together. Stranger things have happened!

And if none of that works out, well if ever in NM, drop me a line, we'll go riding and drop a bunch of those guys!

Thanks Cassandra. I have been thinking about organizing a women's only ride. Not to get more fast women out necessarily but just to get more women to enjoy the sport.

[bluerider]

I agree with Pedal. Is there a chance that maybe since you feel this "vibe" that you intensify it with your insecurities about riding with them?? Maybe some of it is just in your head. I'm not saying that's the case; its just a different view point....

I think you may be onto something...I know they haven't intentionally tried to drop me or make me suffer (although at times, I am very close to passing out). I just need to keep at it and show them that I am getting better and eventually be able to pull them...

But you're right, I am VERY insecure about riding with them. I know I'm not as fast. It's my first year with this club and I know there is a lot of history with the guys so I shouldn't expect to be welcomed right away...

Thanks for making me sit back and look at it with more rationale...

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I agree with Pedal. Is there a chance that maybe since you feel this "vibe" that you intensify it with your insecurities about riding with them?? Maybe some of it is just in your head. I'm not saying that's the case; its just a different view point....

I remember when lived where everyone spoke Spanish around me- I would stand in line in the supermarket and be absolutely certain the women in back of me were whispering unkind things about me. Then I learned Spanish and it turns out they were just whispering about which tampons they liked, their gall bladder problem, or what color hair dye hides grey the best, etc.

[Triskeliongirl]

..I will say, a few guys have come back to "fetch" me when I've been dropped so I can't say all of them are jerks...I guess I just have to keep at it.....

I agree with the others that say this IS there way of saying you are welcome. I also agree that what you are feeling is the testosterone that is seething as they push hard, that is all. They obviously respect you if they are helping you get back on. Its only once a week, and I would say if you can do it, more power to you. I read that Dede Barry did so well cuz she showed up with her husband at the Disco training cramps, and trained them as best as she could. So, be glad you are talented enough to hang with the fast boys, and don't sweat the small stuff!

[bluerider]

I agree with the others that say this IS there way of saying you are welcome. I also agree that what you are feeling is the testosterone that is seething as they push hard, that is all. They obviously respect you if they are helping you get back on. Its only once a week, and I would say if you can do it, more power to you. I read that Dede Barry did so well cuz she showed up with her husband at the Disco training cramps, and trained them as best as she could. So, be glad you are talented enough to hang with the fast boys, and don't sweat the small stuff!

I appreciate your insights because I think I'm mixing up what I think is happening vs what is really happening. Really appreciate.

I'm actually excited to go riding again (ie get dropped again) this weekend!!!

Thanks again to all those who offered encouragement!!!

[Geonz]

Okay, just a mama-hen word here... we had a bad summer for crashes here, and seemed most of them were from people pushing **so hard** that they wobbled at the wrong time (twice it was pushing really, really hard to catch up... and then catching up and catching a wheel and going down HARD.)

So... be careful out there... suffer gracefully!!!