Dealing With It

[Haudlady]

For years, the way I coped with difficult things in my life was to be with my horse. I can't even tell you how many times I cried on his shoulder! I talked to him for hours... he was the best listener. He was my best friend and companion for fourteen years. I had to put him down at the age of 21, three years ago on October 15th. This is too sad for words. When I think of him, which is often, I stop breathing for a second and my throat just closes up. Even though DH and I had been together for seven years by then, DH told me that night was the first time he ever saw me cry. I had done all my crying with my boy!

Now? Now what do I do? I take a walk in the trees, I weave at my loom, I breathe. I do the things that make me feel connected to the past ~ this settles me, and helps me realize that, at my core, I'm okay. And, sometimes, I cry on DH's shoulder, and that's okay too.