Met my personal trainer today

[Offthegrid]

I'm curious... how do you have more money when you are single? I typically have less...cause I don't have a man paying for my meals. HA!

It's actually a sad, long story ...

I was engaged and had been living with my boyfriend for a year. He moved here from New Jersey after graduating college. I paid for everything but his car insurance.

He was supposed to be figuring out what he wanted to do with his career, but instead he worked in retail for a low wage. He kept promising he would get a better job or go back to school (he got a bachelor's degree on academic scholarship), and I believed his excuses for the 12 months we lived together. Finally I found out that he had been hiding credit card bills from me, and it turns out he was spending a lot of money without telling me where it was going -- even though I was paying for everything. I ended the engagement and kicked him out Sept. 1.

So now not only do I now have more money because I'm not paying for two people, but I also have freedom to do things he wouldn't want me to do, like exercise with a personal trainer.

In hindsight I was really stupid, but he was very convincing about wanting to get a better job. It still hurts me that he wouldn't get it together. And it is scary to be alone again. But I'm so much happier.

[KSH]

It's actually a sad, long story ...

I was engaged and had been living with my boyfriend for a year. He moved here from New Jersey after graduating college. I paid for everything but his car insurance.

He was supposed to be figuring out what he wanted to do with his career, but instead he worked in retail for a low wage. He kept promising he would get a better job or go back to school (he got a bachelor's degree on academic scholarship), and I believed his excuses for the 12 months we lived together. Finally I found out that he had been hiding credit card bills from me, and it turns out he was spending a lot of money without telling me where it was going -- even though I was paying for everything. I ended the engagement and kicked him out Sept. 1.

So now not only do I now have more money because I'm not paying for two people, but I also have freedom to do things he wouldn't want me to do, like exercise with a personal trainer.

In hindsight I was really stupid, but he was very convincing about wanting to get a better job. It still hurts me that he wouldn't get it together. And it is scary to be alone again. But I'm so much happier.

WOW! That's a tough story... and hard lesson to have learned.

You did the right thing believing him... he's the @ss for lying to you. You trusted me and he misused that trust.

I have to say though... WAY TO GO... on not marrying him! So many women would forgive the man... and then marry him... only to end up in a miserable marriage.

Sometimes, doing the right thing... doesn't feel good... but you know it's the right thing to do...and someday you look back and feel good about making the right decision.


Finally, I completely understand your story. I kind of lived though that myself. Except I didn't find out what a liar mine was until AFTER we were married.

And yea, my ex preached to me about how he wanted to do something with his life, etc... but yet he kept losing his job... and was perfectly OK with not working... and letting me pay for everything. (Mind you, this was the least of our "problems"... he was also cheating on me, lying to me about what he was up to... and started doing meth the last 6 months were were together, and it was behind my back.)

Although I couldn't, so I ran up $25,000 in credit card debit that he left me with to pay off. And, I even had to pay for the divorce that he asked for.... and he didn't show up to the court hearing when the divorce was final.

I have to say though, I am THANKFUL every single day that he left me. It was the best day of my life. My life was miserable with him... and now I have a wonderful life... and I'm never miserable. I'm so happy to have my life now! And now days, I have this wonderful boyfriend who pays for MY meals... and has a steady job.

[HappyAnika]

I just wanted to say Hooray for getting crappy men out of our lives and moving on, single but happy, without them. Good for you! It takes courage and its tough, but you totally did the right thing. Then you followed it up with another great thing, getting a personal trainer. Keep us posted on the training!