Asking the right questions

[Dogmama]

I have found that a female doctor can be a better listener and more understanding of women's health issues, be they weight, menstrual issues, sexual problems, or whatever.
Emily

My primary care is a woman and I love her. She listens to my stuff & doesn't blow me off.

My DH goes to her too. He actually opens up to her. Pretty amazing for an ex-cop.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Donna,
First, you should not be discouraged about gaining a measley 5 pounds after quitting smoking. Losing weight will take TIME. Being more active WILL help you lose weight, but remember you stopped smoking at the same time. You might have gained 20 pounds when you stopped smoking if you hadn't started biking! And for all you know, that five pounds you've gained might well be mostly MUSCLE!! I've gained about 3-5 pounds of muscle in 4 months of biking, I know that for sure.

Secondly, I don't think you should be having all this pain, it does not sound like normal soreness from activity at all. Joint pain can mean many things! You should definitely be checked over for stuff like arthritis and lyme disease and other illnesses. Go to another doctor for a fresh opinion. Get a checkup that includes bloodwork.
Are you getting enough calcium in your diet? A calcium deficiency can cause very painful joints and muscle cramps and and aching, especially at night. Your body might need more calcium than before, now that you are exercising a lot. Maybe you could force yourself to drink two big 10 oz glasses of skim or non-fat milk every day in the meantime to see if that helps after a day or two? It can't hurt to try. Non-fat milk can also help fill you up before a meal so you can eat smaller portions of fattening stuff. Also try replenishing/balancing your electrolytes like magnesium and potassium- try drinking a sports drink and eating bananas?

I happen to think my DH is the world's most wonderful man in every way. But he tends to have way more aches and pains than I do, and he nurses himself enthusiastically through his various "illnesses". We all have our little quirks. I do give him sympathy, and I do take some of his pains seriously. Other times I get impatient with his bouts and just keep my mouth shut and go about my own day. My point is, don't be too hard on your husband's occasional lack of sympathy for your aches and problems. Even if you love someone, we are only human, and it can be tiring hearing about aches and problems too often. If he LOVES you, that's all that's important, just keep remembering that.

[Dogmama]

[QUOTE=Lisa S.H.;136839]Donna,
I've gained about 3-5 pounds of muscle in 4 months of biking, I know that for sure.
QUOTE]

Really! How did you measure it?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I can see and feel muscles on my legs, arms, shoulders, butt, and torso that just weren't there at all before, and I estimate the total based on knowing what 1/2 pound raw hamburgers look like. I know, it's a guess, but I'm positive it's more than 2 pounds of muscle I've gained over the past 4 months. Also, I might stay the same weight for a month, but my pants get looser and I see the fat lumps on my hips slowly melting away, so I know I'm losing fat. If I'm losing pounds of fat but not losing weight and seeing my muscles getting bigger at the same time, I must surely be gaining muscle weight, no?

[BeeLady]

Hi Donna,

I'm also an ex-smoker and its been 15 years for me. That is a MAJOR step towards becoming a healthier person. Congratulations.

I have gained about 10 pounds in the last three years (I gained no weight when I quit smoking) since I had a hysterectomy. I am someone who never had a weight issue and could eat as I pleased. Ten pounds isn't much, but for someone who never weighed over 119 it seems like a lot. I have a lot more empathy for anyone trying to lose weight. Weight and the habits and lifestyle choices behind it are a huge challenge to change.

If you can quit smoking you can lose the weight you need to to become even healthier. Do you keep a food journal? That has helped me be accountable and realistic about my true caloric intake. You might want to check out FitDay.com, its free and you can really get a good take on your caloric intake/usage.

I would imagine your joints and everything else would feel better if your weight was less. No matter what the docs tell you, its going to be totally up to you to fight the weight battle just as you fought the smoking battle (unless you opt for surgical weight loss banding or whatever -- geesh).

Two other things: if you are gaining muscle mass your weight may initially increase as muscle weighs more than fat, but that would be very cool as ultimately the muscle will help burn more calories while at rest, etc.

Second, glucosimine has been researched and proven to help joint problems. An orthopaedic surgeon even recommended it to my husband. It will take several weeks to notice an improvement but it will help. I've gotten back on it in the last six weeks and my joint problems have pretty much disappeared.

If you can quit smoking and stay quit, you can do anything! You are on your way to a much healthier life and hopefully your doctor, your husband and the rest of the known world will support you in your efforts.

[DDH]

Okay, I went to the Doctor. He is doing blood work to check for rumetoid arthritis, and checking my thyroid. Other than that nothing.
I will wait and see what the blood work says and go from there. I have pretty much given up on my Insurance, I think I am begining to hate the HMO.

I take the Osteo Bi-flex glucosamine, and I take a womans multivitamin plus the viativ chewable calcium daily. Sometimes I forget it. But for the most part I have been taking it for the past month.

Surgery is out of the question, I want to lose the weight without those kind of drastic measure. I have always been scared to death of any kind of surgery so unless I am dieing I will deal with all my pains. LOL

Lisa, your right as far as my husband goes, except that I don't sit around and complain about it. Most of the time I don't say anything, he will see me limp or something and then ask. I have gotten to where I say nothing to him and tell him nothing is wrong when he asked because I don't want to listen to his cynical remarks. He is very supportive otherwise in other things, and I know he loves me. I just don't know why he has to act like if I have an ache or pain that it irritates or in some way inconviences him. He still has supper, clean clothes and a clean house. I still do everything I need to do and don't let it stop me, so the cynical or snotty remarks are not needed or justified.

Anyway, my doc did the norm. I think I will see if he will send me to the nutritionist and just leave it at that. I have lived with my aches and pains this long, guess I can do it a little longer.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Donna, sounds like a good plan getting the bloodwork and getting checked for arthritis and thyroid. Don't forget possible Lyme disease (many of my friends have gotten it, lots of ticks where we live.)

I do understand about the husband/sympathy factor. It's not always easy being in a longterm relationship. Good that there lots of support on most things though.

Funny story- this morning, my DH was nursing an irritated eye, and i put some medicine drops in it while giving him lots of sympathy...Oh, poor BABY!....etc. Then I went in the bathroom and was cleaning around the bottom of the toilet with a sponge. I turned and stood up, forgetting that I had left the medicine cabinet open, and BAM, hit my head right on the corner of the sharp cabinet door- yeowch!! I gave a little whimper-cry, because it really did hurt, but kept cleaning. DH came in to see what had happened and I said Oh Nothing, I'm ok. But he said what are you TALKING about, you're bleeding all over the place!!! and I hadn't realized that my head was bleeding vigorously into my hair! Well you should have seen him whip into action like a real trooper, applying washcloths and nursing me like crazy- too cute. We stopped the bleeding, no stitches needed- just a dent in my head! I guess next time I whimper he'll come running REAL fast!

[Patti37]

I had some of the same problems and more. I just did not know how to explain it to my doctor.

What I did was keep an daily journal of all my aches and pains. I started to included what I did and what I ate that day.

It really helped with my PCP. When I finally went to the rheumatologist, he knew all the right questions to ask.

Edited to say I should read the whole thread before I post...My diagnosis did end up being Rheumatoid Arthritis. They did a whole battery of blood work that did include testing for Lyme disease.

[doc]

Just some thoughts: Ask your doctor about fibromyalgia and related diagnoses. These are pain syndromes that are very difficult to diagnose and you would likely need a referral to a specialist. The specialist who manages this would be different in different places, could be rheumatology, could be the pain team in a large hospital, etc

[DDH]

Well as usual, I heard nothing from my doctor after my blood work. So, my sister was going in to see him and I had her take him a note. I didn't want to butt in to her doctor time, but I wanted to know something. She said he told her he would get a letter off to me, that has been a week ago tomorrow, so I don't know yet.

I still hurt in my joints but continue to try to do some kind of exercise like pilates or something when I cannot ride my bike. That seems to help. I know when I ride, my wrist will kill me during the ride and I have to constantly stop and kind of losen them up.
I just refuse to let it stop me from getting things done or doing what I want to do. I just have to be really careful when walking about my left ankle, because certain ways I step down make me want to go through the roof.

If I don't get some results soon, I will have to change my doctor.

My mom has Fibromyalgia, but she just describes the restless leg kind of stuff. Or maybe that is somthing different.

[doc]

My mom has Fibromyalgia, but she just describes the restless leg kind of stuff. Or maybe that is somthing different.

Oh no, fibromyalgia (and other pain syndromes) are painful! Restless leg is an entity unto itself, and not associated as far as I know.

[spokewench]

Donna:

There comes a time when you just can't put up with it anymore. It is definitely time to become the squeeky wheel! Call that doctor's office at least twice a day (3xs if you can stomach it). Leave messages and demand to talk to the doctor's personal assistant (MA, whatever, they have in that office) each and every time. If you can't get them, leave a message each and every time!

Send a letter immediately (overnight mail, certified return receipt) describing your concerns in writing and demanding some kind of follow up.

If you do not get a response to a week's worth of calls, go to the office and pitch a B - - - -! Act obnoxious if you have to. (I know I hate to do this, but it does get results and is necessary rarely but sometimes). I think it is necessary in your case!

spoke

[Dogmama]

I triple ditto what Doc & Spokewrench said.

I have lupus and it took a rheumatologist to diagnose it. Lupus & R.A. are similar in that they are autoimmune diseases. If your doc says nothing is wrong, demand to be referred to a rheumatologist. The blood tests are very specific to the condition. Just because a preliminary blood test comes back normal, you aren't cleared of lupus or RA. I don't remember all of the fancy tests because it was a long time ago.

Spokewrench is right. I might even invoke the "L" word (Lawyer) if you need to get really nasty. Doctors & lawyers are generally like oil & water.

(As an aside - you know what the difference is between a malpractice lawyer and a catfish? One of them is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other one is a fish.)

I decided 3 weeks ago that I didn't need to take my plaquinel for my lupus. I've taken it for 15 years, but I suddenly became an M.D. three weeks ago. I have had a headache for the last ten days. I finally connected the dots (duh!) and started the plaquinel again. Taa -daa - no more headache!

I give that example just to show how complicated these conditions can be.

You go get 'em girl!!

[bcipam]

As another person who carries too much weight myself, I share your pain and anguish. But you probably already know this, there is no magic answer. Folks who use diet pills, go on medical diet (like Optifast), use diet programs (like nutrisystems or weight watchers) still have problems. In fact, most folks gain most of their weight back, if not more, once they stop the diet. Why? Because they have not learned what is proper to eat or not eat.

First thing I had to do was admit I am fat. I'm fat! Not big bones, fluffy, whatever, FAT - I eat too much. Not only do I eat too much I eat the wrong things. I admit this. I know I need to be more food concious like alot of the ladies on this forums. I need to eat small portions of fruits, vegetables and whole grains and stay away from the french fries and chocolate shakes, and Claim Jumper size portions, but I don't.

So where does that put me? Well at the point I have to acknowledge I have a problem and just how motivated I am to deal with the problem. There is no quick fix. It's a life long problem and my overeating needs to be controlled, every day, every hour, every minute. I am not so different than an alchoholic or drug user.

I like the AA model, take one day at a time. Praise God for each step in the right direction. Keep exercising. Keep moving. Cycling is really good for someone overweight as it is easy on the joints. You cannot lose weight unless you exercise and that means exercise for the rest of your life, not until you lose 50 lbs. FOREVER!

I'm hoping this does not sound harse. It's just I'm there too and I've learned to be realistic. I know what I am and what I need to do. I still respect myself as a person even though I am overweight. I don't expect others to respect me though just like I would not expect others to respect a drug user, but I know I am a good person and I am capable and worthy of acheiving my weight loss goal. One day, one hour, one minute at a time!

Keep at it. Let us know how you are doing. The women here are sooooooo supportive and caring.

[Duck on Wheels]

"I still hurt in my joints but continue to try to do some kind of exercise like pilates or something when I cannot ride my bike. That seems to help. I know when I ride, my wrist will kill me during the ride and I have to constantly stop and kind of losen them up."

Hmmm. How well does your bike fit you? The one time I had wrist and elbow pain while riding was on a rental bike that was a tad too big for me. I was overstretched reaching the handlebar and after a few miles my elbows were hurting, then after a few miles more my wrists. I had to sit up and ride one-handed, shaking my free arm loose, then switch hands, then get off and walk for a ways, then back on ... I finished the ride and was fine after lunch, had even had fun and was glad to have met lots of TE gals, but next time I'll get there early and test ride the bike if I'm renting.