oh no...............

[salsabike]

Hohoho, sunshine---that's just how it happened to me too! Just when I'd decided I was ready and happy to be alone, along came Mr. Salsa. 21 years later, I still think he's the coolest guy I know.

[Kitsune06]

...and with luck, as time goes on, you'll keep finding out how much you complete each other (in all those little ways you didn't know anything was missing!)

Scary, no?

[kaybee]

Sunshine, that's how it happened for me too. We've been together for 24 years, married for 20. How the heck did I get that OLD? Enjoy!

KB

[Melstar]

built a fortress,!impervious!independant,SINGLE AND HAPPY.


and then whatdoyouknow............MET A MAN ,BY MISTAKE......................



now,8 weeks on,need some statistics,when does the infatuation wear off?coz i usually wake up to reality within 19 days.AND IT HASNT KICKED IN YET!

Hey hello sunshin. stratford upon Avon... nice place.

Infatuation hasn't worn off yet?? I guees it Might be TRUE LOVE!!

[ClockworkOrange]

built a fortress,!impervious!independant,SINGLE AND HAPPY.


and then whatdoyouknow............MET A MAN ,BY MISTAKE......................



now,8 weeks on,need some statistics,when does the infatuation wear off?coz i usually wake up to reality within 19 days.AND IT HASNT KICKED IN YET!

Hi hellosunshine

That was no mistake, some might call it fate.................why should the infatuation wear off?

Just enjoy today, never mind about tomorrow.

Similar thing happened to me at the grand ol' age of fifty! Really did not want or need a guy, I was too independent...................6 years on and now living together and so very happy.

Lovely to hear your story.

Sally

[mudmucker]

when does the infatuation wear off?

Ah, 8 weeks. You are still in the stardust phase.

After noting some of the responses, this will seem fairly analytical. Just about all my relationships occurred when I wasn't looking or expecting. Aside from the obvious compatibility, my experience has been that the initial stardust phase lasts from 9 months to a year and a half or so. You know, you are immersed in clouds with silver linings, that feeling of really looking forward to seeing that person, still getting to know that person. There still is that level of politeness because maybe not all boundaries have been explored. To me, the real patterns of the relationship emerge after about a year or year and a half where some of the more complex issues/boundaries have been stretched and explored. If stardust hasn't fallen like lead at that time, then relationships seem to move on to a different kind of intimate level.

[DDH]

I think I am still infatuated at times with my DH. We have been married 17 years as of last Friday and together all in all, 21 years.

There are times that I want to kick him, but I am sure he might like to kick me sometimes too. All in all though, I don't know what I would do without him. He is my rock, my hero and the person I want to see and spend time with the most from day to day.
I think once you get past the he's not perfect stage, and start learning their faults and can still live with them, then it's a match!!

[Brandi]

Yea me too... !19 years of massive adventure, romance travel I have it all.... but best of all I have shared it with my best friend and lover... my dear husband!!!!!!

[Triskeliongirl]

I think its really interesting that so many of us on this board have such long term stable marriages. We've been married 21 years, soon to be empty nesters, but still riding bikes together. Is it the free spiritidness that keeps us cycling that keeps our marriages fresh?

[hellosunshine]

im not sure about that last comment,i race mainly with men,and the amount of marriages that have failed as the wives feel several rungs down the ladder to their bike obsession.....anyhow,like you also said,it groovy isnt i!in his world of mushed up marriages,SOME DO WORK

[Geonz]

Yea, I think people are responding in kind... but others are just lurking (and smiling, 'cause it's nice to read good things). The timing was interesting (in a good way ) for me...

[run it, ride it]

Three years ago I cut off a 6-year-long-distance relationship because the guy was getting too possessive. I was happy as a clam all by myself.

...Not a year later, a new long-distance boy comes along. I told myself he didn't know what he was getting into, so it wouldn't last. I carefully distanced myself. Did he ever prove me wrong. We had some rough patches, but in the end we both gave in and stopped holding back, and we've been hopelessly in love for the past year.

I'm not sure he ever learned how to ride a bike, and he's made it quite clear I will never get him on the back of a horse... but hey, he also said he didn't want to go sailing and ended up loving it. We have our own very separate lives (we live three hours apart), and on the surface not much in common, but our base values are the same and we never run out of things to talk about. I'm in love with him a little more each day. We have passion, trust, respect, compassion, sacrifice, compromise, and communication. To me, that's what love means.

My housemate is currently in an exclusive casual relationship. Which, of course, she insists isn't a relationship. She doesn't want to get into anything serious because she's moving back and forth to school and doesn't want to do the long-distance thing. Well, the guy 'cheated' on her with his ex and just doesn't respect her. Sure, they have a good time, but at what expense?

Relationships with us kids these days are endlessly complex... we want our autonomy but loneliness prevails. Distrustful flings ensue. So you know what? I'd rather be with a boy I'm completely in love with and trust with every ounce of my being, even though the stakes are higher, even if it's not the most logical decision, even if I have to make other sacrifices: even if I'll be devestated when it ends. If it doesn't hurt to let go of, it wasn't worth having.

[LBTC]

If it doesn't hurt to let go of, it wasn't worth having.

As with so many things, even more true for love. Well said!

Namaste,
~T~

[Kitsune06]

this is true- but also, I think, that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. In this life, our finest achievements can't be kept and collected like trophies- in reality, a trophy is just a piece of metal and stone- its only real value is sentimental and attached to the memories it came with- as is anything of real 'value' at the end of our days.

I've done crazy, stupid things for love and believe that love, experimentation and experiences are worth everything. "Do not resist temptation- it may not pass by your way again."

Love, requited or not, passion, romance, excitement and the thrill of seeking or attaining all of these are what life is about. The day you stop seeking excitement, happiness and passion is the day you're ready to die... and that's not youth speaking... but it sure seems easy to forget these things when commitments take presidence in your life.

[Thistle]

28 years and counting, married for 25 years just last month, still holding hands. We did a nice leisurely 25-mile ride on our anniverary--a mile for each year.

True love still happens.

oh i love that .... a mile for each year mind if we copy you??

same story, completely over men, completely fine on my own, and bam, this hunk re-enters my life (knew him before but i was engaged). Married 14 years, together 16, wouldnt be without him for the world even though he sometimes drives me nuts!!!!!