I fell out of love with my bike

[remigo]

I see so many posts of new cyclists who have fallen in love with the bike, and it makes me so nostalgic.

About 3 years ago, I got my first bike since being a kid, and girl, I fell hard in love with the two wheels, and the feelings of freedom and joy. In that first year, I did about 6000km, and was always happy to get on the bike. The next year, I had less time for cycling, but loved it just as much, and I bought a fancy new road bike (Specialized Sequoia cos I know you'll be wondering!). Up until then, almost all my cycling was alone - long distance commuting or just plain fun trips and just cycling everywhere.

Then, this year (around March), I decided to join a cycling group. These guys were "leisure" cyclists, so wouldn't be as fast as racing cyclists. However, they were still much too fast for me. I used get joy out of "speeding" along at ~25kph; so, then hanging off the back of a group flying along (and up, up, up more hills than I'd ever done) at ~30kph just was too much for me. March was a "warm up" month, so that was fine and I was so excited about cycling, April started getting harder and I was really pushing myself to the limits, and only barely keeping up, and by May it was all starting to fall apart. I started to dread training sessions and stopped going out on my own and just constantly felt like I wasn't good enough or fast enough. In early June, I did a metric century in the mountains, and pretty much just hung up the bike after that.

I always thought of myself as a speedy enough chick, so it sucked to find out that when I was cycling with *real* cyclists, I'm actually pretty d@mn slow.

How do I get over this? How do I get the love back? Anyone else experienced this sort of disillusionment, and got over it? I can barely bring myself to look at my bikes these days.

[DeniseGoldberg]

It sounds to me like the difference in speed between you and your riding companions is the cause of your not wanting to get on your bike. The first thing you should do is not be so hard on yourself. And you are a real cyclist - speed has nothing to do with that!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with riding on your own, but it may also be more than possible to adjust your riding style so that you can happily ride with others too. I'm a solo rider, and I'm a slow rider (in the overall scheme of things). I occasionally ride with someone (Robyn!) who is a faster rider than I am - but she knows my riding speed and we ride together when she wants to have a slower day. Many years ago I was frustrated by my speed, but I came to realize that I ride at a pace that makes me happy and there really isn't a reason for me to change.

You sound like you'd like to ride with others, and like you'd like to evolve into a faster cyclist. Is there a club in your area that has different paced rides? If there is, maybe choosing a group that is closer to your speed, slightly faster maybe, would give you a good way to teach your body to increase its speed.

By the way, where are you in Ireland? I did a tour there back in 2003 - wandering between Ireland and Northern Ireland, and I absolutely loved it. I'm sure that my bike and I will be back again some day.

--- Denise

[SouthernBelle]

Sc**w the fast boys. Find some pretty places to ride. Take lunch. Don't allow yourself to go over 15 mph. Enjoy the autumn. If you see something or some place interesting, stop there. Greet anyone you meet including animals. Wave at children. Take your camera and use it. Take a book so if you find a good place to stop and read, well, stop and read. Sing really loud.

[KnottedYet]

Doesn't sound like it's the BIKES you fell out of love with.

Sounds like you got caught up with the wrong crowd.

Can you hook up with a randonneuring group near you? How about some other TE'ers? Our Seattle TE ride a couple weeks ago averaged 10 or 12 mph and our whole goal was to meet eachother and enjoy the day. (And drink beer. But that was MY goal, cuz we had lunch at the brewery that makes my favorite beer.)

Is there a route you used to like riding, that's fairly flat and pretty, with a restaurant/pub/picnic spot at a halfway point or turn-around point? Plan up a ride and post it on the local ride threads. Specify in your thread how fast you intend the ride to be, what the terrain is like, where the lunch/beer is. You may end up doing the ride alone (I did the first 5 or 6 I posted alone, but then I only gave a couple hours warning!) or you could end up meeting a bunch of new people!

[Geonz]

My two cents:
If you want the love back, you hve to either tell your ego to chill out or train hard enough to keep up with these guys. Or - Both!

There are almost certianly a bunch of other folks who've done exactly what you did. I know when I joined this club, it was mostly pretty fast folks trying to get faster, and just a couple of people looking for something different. I had come from a club with a significant core group of true "leisure riders" who defiantly socialized while riding and scheduled rides to eateries and would slow down for new folks, without it being an exercise in patience because their goal wasn't speed, anyway.

THere were enough of us my first year to have each other to ride with - but we had to talk it up. Gradually, people started coming out of the woodwork - they'd given up on the club but they came out and were encouraged... and other new people came out and we didn't drop them. (That's the hard part sometimes - because of course we had gottten stronger. ) I got this reputation for being on *all* the club rides (It wasn't quite true but the legend persists )

So... sniff out the other folks who, secretly, would love to hang back a bit. Build your constituency. Lead moderate level rides! You might find out that because of all that riding, you *can* keep up...

[mimitabby]

If my group that i ride with always went as fast as it did last night (see my "new stallion" thread) I would not ride with them.

It was too too too fast. As it is, we lost my son's girlfriend, and others were complaining. ( My son stayed behind with her and they ended up taking a bus home)
We usually ride at a "social" pace, but last night... it just wasn't.
But there's a race coming up Sunday so all the steeds were feeling their oats and sizing each other up...


Try and find some "real cyclists" who are more your speed. I don't know where you are located, and how many bikers are around, but it wouldn't hurt to look.

[Bad JuJu]

I agree with what's already been said, but want to add that you might try "advertising" at your LBS for other riders more like you. They might want to do the club rides, too, and then you could begin to form your own little "back of the pack" sub-club. In the club I ride with, the riders at the back are Sweet Sixteens--we stay right around 16 mph on average. You could try organizing your own little Sweet Sixteen group (or whatever the equivalent is in kph). Or plan your rides to nice lunch spots, ice cream shops, whatever.

You can make it fun again, and get the love back. Just give up the speed and the hard work that made your rides more like work, less like fun.

[Python]

When a hobby is taken too seriously, it can then become a chore.

I've only been back on a bike after a gap of over 30 years for just over a week, so I'm no spring chicken. I'm enjoying cycling and have thought about joining a club. What puts me off the idea is exactly what's happened to you.

Go back to what you enjoyed when you first got your bike.

You've actually answered your own question in your first paragraph:

Up until then, almost all my cycling was alone - long distance commuting or just plain fun trips and just cycling everywhere.

the operative word being...FUN.

If you want to ride out with other people, why not find a couple of cycling pals to go out with - at your own pace - and enjoy. That's what I intend doing as I don't think I'll ever be fast (or fit) enough to join a cycling club. I'd rather just meander along at my own pace and enjoy my bike.

[Squeaky]

Everyone has such great advice! Like any relationship, I think a lot of folks experience lulls in things they enjoy and I'm sure you'll find the passion again. Can you use your bike to commute (work, store, etc. -- or pubs as other have suggested)? Sometimes having a destination makes it more doable when you don't think you feel like riding. You can take your time and just enjoy being outside and getting that fresh air pumping through your lungs.

Just as a side note, think about having your thyroid levels checked and other blood work. Before I found out I had hypothyroidism, I was loosing interest in doing things on top of being tired. It was such a subtle change over time that I thought it was because I wasn't taking care of myself properly (not eating right, not exercising enough, bla bla bla), even though I knew better.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[bikerchick68]

ah remigo... I went thru this with dance. I used to dance for the joy of dancing... then the better I got the more men wanted to dance with me... next thing I know I have a dedicated partner and I'm competing in 4 ballroom dances at an amateur level... pretty soon, we're practicing 4 nights a week for 2-3 hours per night. And I'm tired. And annoyed when we don't "get" it... we win several competitions which is cool, but now I'm sorta dreading dancing.

I lost the JOY of it. So I stopped. I stopped competing, and started dancing for me again. I'll never lack partners due to the level I'm at... but there are MANY people that are WAY better dancers than me... and many that are way worse. And ya know what? It doesn't matter. I dance for ME now.

Ride for you. That's my best input. Hugs...

[sandy45]

Good afternoon Ladies,

This is Sandy's (DH) My name is Tye, and I have to say what a fantastic forum you have put together here. I happened upon this topic and I just wanted to say that I have been in a similar situation with cycling. To the originator of this thread, do not give up hope, and definitley do not hang up the bike. It is important to remember that in this world there is always going to be someone that can do something better or ride faster or do a better trick. Do not give up on something that you love so much. And definitley do not let someone else dictate your view of yourself. Sure you may not be as fast as the other guy/gal but overall you are the only person that is going to determine whether you will be comfortable at your level or whether you will step up and try to push yourself to the next level. Recovering from an injury I was in a similar situation and I had been away from the bike for 3 years. I recently just did my first race since the injury and it was a slap in the face for me. I am fat slow and I spent a good deal of the course walking up hills I normally would have conquered in a few pedal strokes. So in my case it wasn't the faster guys out there but rather my own view of myself that was holding me back. So I ahve to say, get back out there and ride, dont do it for everyone else, do it for yourself. Let others with similar riding abilities come to you rather than trying to force yourself to fit into someone elses riding abilities. The second it is not fun anymore is when you should re-evaluate why it is you are riding the way you are. Get out there and ride, you know you want to! and remember, keep it rubber side down!

[Cassandra_Cain]

Oh yes, what they said....it seems biking isn't the problem, but the bikers were!

Riding with a group like that sounds like many things, but fun is definitely not one of them~

I have to think a different group would suit you soooo much better. Oodles more.

For a while I tried to find people and/or clubs to ride with. Overwhelmingly, the results have been very negative while at the same time, I've come to just enjoy riding on my own.

Everyone is different, but I enjoy being 100% focused on myself during a ride, especially a difficult one. I don't really want to worry about speeding up or slowing down for someone, or having to ride a route I don't care for.

So with the notable exception of a fellow TE'r who I sometimes share the afternoon commute with, I ride on my own all the time, happily too.

[DDH]

I agree with everyone else. I am a newbie since July. I did ride years ago and hung up the bike because of life issues, child got to big to pull anymore but to little to keep up or ride on the roads, work with different shifts, no time, all the normal life things that we let stop us from doing things.
Anyway, I am back into it now, and there is no way I would ride with someone that much better than me because of the very thing that is happening with you. Nothing against those folks but it is very frustrating and self esteem destructive to have someone so far ahead all the time and struggling to keep up. Go back to what you were doing and loved. Find someone to ride with more your speed. If you want to be fast like those folks then I am no expert but I believe that takes a lot of training time and effort to get to that point. I just want to go out and ride and have fun.
Good luck to you, I hope you choose to get back on and get back your love!

[pkq]

I ride for me. Sometimes I want to push, other times I am a genuine slacker. However, even when I want to push, there are always others who can beat me to a pulp.

If I don't feel like riding, I don't. If I feel like doing something else or nothing, that is what I do. I believe our minds and bodies tell us what we need so I listen.

When you ride for yourself, it doesn't seem like a chore.

I have friends who don't view "freddish commuters" as real cyclists. I do just as I would view them as a motorist, if they were driving, or a walker, if they were walking. Live and let live.

[CyclChyk]

I have friends who don't view "freddish commuters" as real cyclists. I do just as I would view them as a motorist, if they were driving, or a walker, if they were walking. Live and let live.

..um.... what is a "freddish commuter"????