kpc, I'm really sorry to hear about your granddaughter. Sounds rough.

Re side effects from antidepressants: I'm on lexapro and the major side-effects have been sexual. However, for me, it works if you work it, and I've learned to adjust.

After a while on lexapro, I started taking a tricyclic (older style antidepressant), doxapine, as well (to help me sleep) (I was sleeping 2 hours a night for an extended period). That drug, or the combo of the two, seemed to result in a 15 lb weight gain but my weight has been stable since then. The tricyclic also had an excessive sedative effect during the day.

There are a bunch of good new antidepressants out there--a skilled clinician can help you find the right one for you.

Hang in there.