$@!#$@ what gear am i in?

[mimitabby]

yeah, that's kind of what i had on my raleigh.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Mimi,
I had to get used to my numberless bar end shifters as well.
My only advice to you might be to stay in the middle ring up front while you keep changing the only rear gears back and forth to get used to the feel of those. (needless to say, don't attempt steep hills while you do this).
Once that all becomes really familiar, try staying in a middle-ish gear in the back while you ride around switching between the front middle and small(uphill)gear. Forget the front big gear for now, you can get to know that one later.

These two exercises might help you get a better feel of the gearing, as they did for me.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

P.S. Better to lose the old mindset of mentally wanting to have gears numbered or named in your mind. Think big and small or instead of numbers.

Just think of the front small gear as not being needed unless you are going uphill in some way. Think of the middle front gear as good for most level riding.
Then think of the rear gears as being fine tuning variations for those front gears.
Then, it logically follows that you wouldn't want to be in your most "uphill" gear in back(biggest ring) paired with your most "downhill" gear in front(biggest ring). Or vice versa. Maybe I'm off the mark, but this way of seeing it helped me.