OT - moving daughter up a grade - opinions?

[donnambr]

I have to agree with Kitsune. I'm not a parent, but I was one of those kids who was incredibly bored in school, got viciously teased and shunned for knowing all the answers, and could not relate to kids my own age. Nearly all my friends were 2-4 years older than me. My grade school principal did not believe in double promotion and I was in the same Catholic school for 8 years, and thus in the same unpleasant situation with the same classmates for all that time. Learning supplements at home just seemed to widen the gulf. I too developed terrible anxiety and a strong desire not to stand out or be noticed in any way. That took a very long time to get over, and I'm still pretty sensitive to even good-natured teasing. I'm not saying that double promotion works for all kids, but when emotional maturity is happening at the same rate as the intellectual advancement, I think it could work out for the better to just move up a grade.

[eclectic]

Best of luck deciding and now that school has pretty much started everywhere I assume you made the decision. Please let us know what you decided

I think this is one of the hardest choices a parent has to make because it can affect the child for the rest of their life

I too was a 17 year old college freshman, I thought I was very mature and could handle everything, I was unable to go home except for major holidays. I had a blast and luckily I was bright enough to get by more on my writing skills and brains than on my hardwork.

I found everything caught up with me when I graduated college and had to go out to the world of work - I student taught when I was 20 years old - barely older than some of the high school students.

To solve the problem I went back to school for another degree. Matured another year and was ready.

I have now been teaching for 22 years and have seen a lot of students grades
K thru 12 pass through my doors at one time or another. I have NEVER heard a parent say "I wish I had started him/her early but a lot say I wish I had waited"

After watching students behaviour in my classroom (not skill level) I can usually pick out the younger ones and when I check birthdays I am about 98% correct

Good schools have enrichment programs coordinated by specialists in the Gifted and Talented area, also I have seen students move up for certain subject areas such as math and reading but stay with their peers for everything else (just as some move down for some areas)

If a school or teacher is not flexible then I don't know what to advise you - I am fortunate in that I teach in a school system that is rated as one of the best in the nation

[Bluetree]

Research bears out the experiences here: for girls, it is socially much less comfortable & healthy to be the most mature one in the class; for boys, it is more stressful to be late maturing.

I am in agreement with you there, Sue. But I just found this study which contradicts, regarding delaying Kindergarten for summer-born children. Granted, it does not address the gifted child, but it does touch upon the various maturity levels of kids.

...The USC professor was first inspired to research this matter when he faced it as a parent.
“As my first child was about to enter kindergarten, I heard a lot from parents and school officials that children with summer birthdays, especially boys, would benefit from having a ‘year to grow’ before they start school,” Painter said. “This could give them an academic advantage and prevent them from falling behind.
“I decided that I would study this and find out if there were any academic differences in the long term,” he said. “But despite the fact that these children were a year older than their comparison group, they did not do any better.”

Delaying Kindergarten Has No Benefits
09/07/06
There are few advantages for children who wait a year to enter school, according to USC and Texas researchers.
http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/12716.html

[mimitabby]

...The USC professor was first inspired to research this matter when he faced it as a parent.
“As my first child was about to enter kindergarten, I heard a lot from parents and school officials that children with summer birthdays, especially boys, would benefit from having a ‘year to grow’ before they start school,” Painter said. “This could give them an academic advantage and prevent them from falling behind.
“I decided that I would study this and find out if there were any academic differences in the long term,” he said. “But despite the fact that these children were a year older than their comparison group, they did not do any better.”

Delaying Kindergarten Has No Benefits
09/07/06
There are few advantages for children who wait a year to enter school, according to USC and Texas researchers.
http://www.usc.edu/uscnews/stories/12716.html

I read the article, and it's hard to argue with their findings, but gee whiz,
after forcing 2 boys through elementary school, I am totally convinced that there HAS to be a better way. Maybe it's different for girls, but right now
we're drugging a giant percentage of children (mostly boys) just so that they can endure the long long sits. Boys need to jump and run and kick and punch
and yell... In school all they are supposed to do is sit and be quiet. I guess
the drugs help this.
My poor sons had to do it all without the drugs. and they drove their teachers and me crazy.
I think they'd be better off to not go to traditional school before they were 10. they could be in "boot camp" or something like that first.
classes for boys under ten:
treeclimbing 101
bike riding
first aide
orienteering
sign language
building with sticks
karate
no sitting down until they are 10 years old.
ah, i can dream can't i?

[slinkedog]

I got the impression, from reading the article, that this is only talking about kids with summer birthdays... not kids who are still 4 when school starts.

Also, I found this closing comment interesting...

"School districts should consider the impact of redshirting as well, he said.

“While it may be an attractive option to encourage parents to hold off sending their ‘younger’ kids to kindergarten because the younger children are often a little more difficult to teach the more difficult academic concepts to, perhaps we should structure curriculum to be age appropriate.”

That statement tells me that most schools DON'T have their curriculum structured in a way to be age appropriate to the younger kids yet, which, again makes me glad we made the choice we did.

Also, this paragraph stood out for me:

Parents whose child has a summer birthday should just send him or her to kindergarten, Painter said. “If for some reason, they are unsuccessful in kindergarten, they are better off repeating kindergarten than simply having them start a year later and having them waste a year of their productive life.”

I watched in my son's kindergarten class, last year, the kids who were failing in the class and they were very cognizant of the fact that they were behind. I felt sorry for them because they often looked forlorn and confused. I also have an issue with "having them waste a year of their productive life." Not sure what's he's trying to say, but I see playing and being a little kid as a very productive and good thing!!

[mimitabby]

I got the impression, from reading the article, that this is only talking about kids with summer birthdays... not kids who are still 4 when school starts.
I watched in my son's kindergarten class, last year, the kids who were failing in the class and they were very cognizant of the fact that they were behind. I felt sorry for them because they often looked forlorn and confused. I also have an issue with "having them waste a year of their productive life." Not sure what's he's trying to say, but I see playing and being a little kid as a very productive and good thing!!

exactlly! that's what small children should be doing. PLAYING!

[DrBee]

Thanks to you all for the comments.

We're still mulling this one over. I can see benefits of both grades. My daughter now says repeatedly that she wants to go to 5K (Kindergarten). We had pretty much decided to keep her in 4k. Aargh. We head to BR for a house hunting trip at the end of next week. We're going to go to the school and discuss the situation with them. She's very mature (socially, too) for her age. As I've said before, I think she could handle it. Something still is keeping me from going forward though. I wish I could place it. We still have a month or so to agonize over it, so if you care to discuss it further, I'll listen.