Something more positive - and thanks all for "talking" with me and directing me through this... I have found 3 doctors in my area that are Board certified and work through good hospitals (so I figure they must be OK or the hosptial would provoke privileges). Will be calling the attending physician today to see if their office will help me contact and select a doctor. How scary not knowing the doctor before having the surgery. Talk about an act of faith!!! I'm also going to make an appointment with the Attending and ask him to provide more details about my diagnosis and pronosis. Hopefully after the CT Scan today he will have a complete picture of my disease and how it can be treated.

A good friend called last night who happens to do cancer research of all things, and talked to me for some time about the disease, how its treated, etc. The prognosis looks very good and I'm much more positive today than yesterday.

BTW a note to all those out there who take having a life partner for granted... it's times like this it would be so much easier to get through the down times if someone I loved could just give me a big hug and say "I'll be with you through this..." You can't imagine how alone at times I feel even though I am very blessed to have loving and caring friends and family. My Faith is also a pillar for me right now. But it would sure be nice to have that love one close by.

Take good care of those DH's and BF's and of yourselfs. My best friend's mom just had a stroke. She is 5 years older than me. Turns out she hadn't been to a doctor since the birth of her last child (38 years ago!!!). She has uncontrol diabetes and the stroke was related. If she went to a doctor on a regular basis this never would have happened. AND if I had the screening test when my GP doctor first started bullying me to do it, I wouldn't be in this situation. Get those Mammograms and colon screenings when you are supposed to. Don't be stupid like me!!!!