'sigh' Sex talk - need advice

[Trekhawk]

Another 2c from an "old" lady just past her 31st anniversary:
That honeymoon feeling comes and goes over the years. Gone for now is not gone forever. Sometimes it catches me unawares and suddenly just seeing DH's butt when he comes into the br. to dress after a morning shower turns me on. And then other times ... I'd rather sleep.

LOL - well said.

[Kitsune06]

After my pm...
I think it's a very mental thing, and women do have a pressure to perform 'right'. Also, after not having been active for awhile, it can be important to reassure your partner that "Yes, I'd like to" if you're in the mood so he doesn't feel like he's going to get excited for nothing.

I tend to be in the "2x day or 2x month" category... though I'm wildly attracted to my SO and would be thrilled with as much attention as I could get and still... y'know... leave the house, remember to eat/sleep/go to work...?

situation with exh was very different. Not attracted, and couldn't care if it was 1x/week, or 1x/month. Too much pressure to perform, too little interest, etc etc you know the story....

I'm saying also that if there's an elephant in the corner to that degree, and he's fighting with you that much, you really need to re-evaluate your relationship. Women say that 'Men don't talk, that's a woman thing'. That's a stereotype that needs to be done away with. Men have vocal cords and brains and can learn how to speak about their problems, at least to their partner. If they can't, they don't deserve to have that partner, IMHO. That's harsh, I know, but men need to freakin' speak up and open up about their problems and insecurities (at least to the one woman in their life who is actively involved in that part of their life) because hiding behind that stereotype will only lead to problems.

Long rant short, the key to any good relationship is a solid, solid base of communication. If you can't be his best friend, and talk about *everything* with him, you shouldn't be with him. If he's not one of those buddies you can go to about everything from the way "this ingrown hair here is bugging the h*ll out of you on your saddle" to "So-and-so was a jerk today and yelled at me! The nerve!" to "You know... about our love life..." Then you don't have the sheer foundation that will last.

Maybe someone who's had longer relationships than I will dispute this, but I'm saying you need to be able to discuss everything. The days of 'woman problems' and men 'not wanting to hear about it' died (or should have) in the 50's-60's with dear old codgers who, while totally loving each other, don't actually talk about anything deeper than the weather.

That and about $3 will buy you something cheap and comforting at Starbucks.