OT - moving daughter up a grade - opinions?

[Duck on Wheels]

... Most of her friends are older than her...

For me that's an important point. I skipped 3rd, but was socially clueless and physically clumsy. Didn't know how to jump in when skipping long rope (which was a big thing in the 4th grade, but not yet in 3rd), couldn't play any of the team games well, was shy, too competitive academically etc. etc. So I wound up being more or less friendless until college. My brother skipped 5th that same year, but he was much better at making friends (including by hiding how good he was academically -- not even the teachers knew and my folks had to insist that either both of us skipped or neither; he's now a philosophy professor). But if FishJr is good at making friends, including with kids older than herself, I'd say go for it. Especially at this stage, i.e. pre-school and in connection with a move. Being openly bored by school might be understood by other kids as being show-offish (I now know I was seen that way in grades 1 and 2, though in Kindergarden the kids valued that I could read books to them in free play time), in which case she might fit in better by starting off with kids who are reading etc. more or less at her level.

[DirtDiva]

An interesting discussion for a primary teacher to wade into!

Skipping and repeating years doesn't happen that often in NZ, which has a lot to do with how the curriculum and schools are structured. Particularly at smaller schools and particularly at the earlier year levels there are a lot of composite classes (for example, I taught a Year 7/8 class last week and a Year 1/2 class today). It goes without saying, really, that you never ever find that all the most academically able children are the oldest and all the least academically able children are the youngest, you never ever find that all the most physically able children are the oldest and all the least physically able children are the youngest, you never ever find that all the most socially able children are the oldest and all the least socially able children are the youngest, etc., etc., etc. Personally, I really like teaching composite classes (the NZ curriculum is plenty flexible enough to accomodate them).

As for FishJr, I have no expertise in early childhood education, so feel free to take what I say with as large a grain of salt as you wish, but if she's bright enough to consider moving up a year at this stage, she'll always be prone to boredom at school; regardless of your decision, the most important thing is that you investigate what will be provided for gifted and talented students on a day-to-day, in-classroom basis as this will have the greatest impact on her enjoyment of learning in the school environment.

In a way, it's easier to deal with at secondary level. If I child excels at maths and science, they can skip levels in those subjects and remain with their peers in others. My quite strongly held opinion is that at any level, a teacher should be able to provide for the needs of each and every child in their class. Sure, it's difficult when a child has no natural academic peers, but it's yer freakin' job!!!


I think I've babbled on enough for one night...

[laughlaugh18]

My brother skipped 5th that same year, but he was much better at making friends (including by hiding how good he was academically -- not even the teachers knew and my folks had to insist that either both of us skipped or neither; . . .

And sometimes even the parents are clueless. When the school system told my parents my older brother was gifted, no big shock. When I tested in 1st grade even higher than my brother, my mom was surprised. I still have the envelope with the test results on which she wrote: "Cathy is very, very bright!!" (notice the exclamation points ) At that age I wasn't hiding it; I just had a more gregarious personality. My mom said she knew I was bright, just not that bright . . .

I did alot of skipping and was another 13 year old high school student and 16 year old college freshman. Outwardly I handled it well (much praise for how mature I was), but looking back I realize I hid myself from alot of social stuff cuz I just wasn't ready for it. Skipping may be fine in the lower grades, but I've come to believe that it's really important developmentally to be the same age as your peer group when you're a teenager and college student.

[pooks]

Outwardly I handled it well (much praise for how mature I was), but looking back I realize I hid myself from alot of social stuff cuz I just wasn't ready for it.

My niece, the "life of the party," took a Myers-Briggs test and showed to be an introvert. We all said there had to be a mistake, but she said, "You see how I act. This shows how I feel."

Even her own mother was stunned. So much as we'd like to think different, moms don't always know their kids as well as they think they do.

As a 14-year-old sophomore, I recall taking some antibiotics with my lunch. (Before such things had to be taken through the clinic.) A senior guy sitting at our table asked what I was taking and I joked, "Birth control pills," and laughed because in my world/experience, no high school girl would be taking the PILL, for God's sake. Clearly anybody would know that was a joke.

I didn't realize that one of my closest friends (sitting at the table with me, and a couple of years older than me, though only one grade ahead) was sexually active.

I also didn't realize that the guy believed me until a few months later when he stopped me in the hall and asked if I was still on the pill, and I didn't even remember what he was talking about or why he would ask such a stupid question until a few hours later.

And I also didn't realize until the next year that I had a "reputation" in some circles, even though people who really knew me, knew better.

Hello, high school!

[winddance]

You know, it almost makes me feel better to know that I wasn't the only one who had these issues. Looking back on the experience, I really don't think I would've noticed had I been 17 and everyone else 18, because that age difference could be measured in months. Two years was a lot, though.

When you're a young adult you begin to pass milestones (learner's permit, drivers license, first job, 18th birthday, legal drinking age) and you're two years behind your peers...that creates a lot of social tension. I always needed a ride, because I didn't have my license. I would be invited out while in college, and would have to explain that I wouldn't turn 21 until after I had graduated.

If anything made me feel out of place, this was it.