'sigh' Sex talk - need advice

[chickwhorips]

cheri don't feel bad about having no one else to talk to about this stuff. neither do i. its hard not having anyone to talk to, but great having everyone on here.

i had a similar problem like you when i was with exbf. it came down to more of the fact that i wasn't physically attracted to him anymore. he had changed in my mind's eye. i was also stressed and depressed.

now that i'm with my new bf i have the opposite problem. i am WAY attracted to him and i think i want it more than he does. (i also have no stress up here and not even being close to being depressed.) i have been with and living with current bf for two years. (i was with former for about a year.) i'm afraid of pressing to much for s--. i don't want to ask for it to much and have him freak out at me and run away. trying to come up with new ways to turn him on is hard too. i swear after two years i still don't know what competely turns him on. i've tried asking but i think i embarrass him. i probably need to come up with a better way than asking him straight "what turns you on" at a completely random time. (anyone has ideas let me know.)

not nice of your current bf to not listen to you. i know how badly that hurts. and him freaking out about not seeing his friends, when you didn't want to stay there was odd. i think he's feeling a bit stressed about the whole thing. sounds like you two need to get away for a nice relaxing weekend, and vacation s-- is always good. (by the way, i'm very proud of you for getting your butt through school with that high of a gpa. YOU GO GIRL! besides there is one industry that WOMEN will always make more $$ then men. and no man can argue that one.)

another thing that i noticed that affected my libido was how much i was working out. if i was working out and doing lots and lots of cardio my libido suffered. might want to think about that one too. i've tried a bunch of different bc methods and finially found one that works well with my hormons. maybe just try a different form of bc? good luck girl.

[Duck on Wheels]

Talking to ones SO is often tough. The stakes are so high. EsPECially when the topic is sex. But friends and family also can rank pretty high up there on the stakes list, along with career status and income. Your bf may have some insecurity issues that make him defensive whenever he's afraid you're signalling that you're losing interest. With me and my DH it's often been the other way around: I go defensively ballistic, he just retreats. Months later we're finally able to talk about whatever it was, and so far it's always been some simple misunderstanding. Persistent but patient and soothing talking is one way to get through and clear things up. Physical reassurance (doesn't have to be sex, snuggling and cuddling are equally reassuring) is another.

As for sex drive -- no, you're not alone in having down periods. In my own case, the libido doesn't awaken just by thinking of sex, or seeing the DH, or coming home from a trip. It's just not on automatic. And worrying about whether it will awaken is a sure killer. But a relaxing cuddle, just for its own sake, will often have the extra dividend of sparking a brighter flame.

[donnambr]

I can only say that anytime I've used hormonal birth control of any kind, my libido evaporates and I know many women who've had the same experience.