Is this my attitude?

[Lenusik]

I agree that would be annoying. But if he just started doing this since you've been pregnant, maybe he's just nervous because of that.

No, that's been happening before I got pregnant. He just thinks that it is a part of cycling. I belive that it is rather annoying. But maybe I should just get over that because there are no negative thoughts in his mind about it. I know that I am not slow (if anyone can define what slow is) but even if I was, I don't want anybody even my husband to keep on looking back. I can figure out my own speed and plus I am in a familiar area. I would be upset if he just dropped me in the middle of nowhere. But I am glad that we talked and came to a certain decision. I hope it works for us.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

He's looking back at you because he doesn't want to let a big distance get between you. I think it's sweet! I would worry if he never bothered looking to see where you are. Remember, we all see things differently. But he did clarify his friendly intentions, so now the "annoyance" feeling is coming just from your side.

[pooks]

I agree with Lisa. I can understand why you were annoyed -- but once he explained that he wasn't trying to rush you and he wasn't frustrated or annoyed with you, then it's back in your court.

But you've done the right thing. Discuss it. Find a way to work around it.

Which is exactly what you seem to be doing!

[esther231]

My DH does the same thing.

It annoys me too but for a different reason - I'm convinced he should be watching the road and not turning back to see where I am. He doesn't stay straight when he's doing it and that scares me. David is doing it to see if he should stop and wait or if he should come back for me or to see if he can go further without getting too far away. (the last one is the one he's hoping for) (but you knew that, right?)

We've talked about it. So, he does it less. But he still does it and I'm sure he's gonna fall one of these times.

[KSH]

WOW! I thought I was the ONLY ONE who got pissed off about this!

My boyfriend use to do it to my on our group rides... he would sprint off... then slow down to let me catch up... over and over. Constantly looking behind to find me... and slowing down.

One time he even stopped and waited for me on the side of the road.

I knew the route though and was FINE to do it alone. He made me feel very inept (? spelling), and I would get really pissed at him.

Well, I don't do that ride anymore. I let him go it alone... and he has since sped up and kicks major butt... without me being there to slow him down.

Anyways, I totally understand why you were pissed. Sure, it's OK to slow down if you are trying to keep a group together and the back people don't know the road/route... but you two can do your own rides... just fine.

[Pedal Wench]

This reminds me of a funny story, that's happened twice now...

I keep a bike at my BF's house. When I visit, sometimes I take my tools and stuff, but some trips we're not planning on riding but do, so i don't have any tools with me, or limited tools, due to restrictions on what I can bring on the airplanes. Twice now, we've been on a ride, and I've gotten a flat. I yell "FLAT!!!!!!", but both times, he didn't hear me. By the time he's figured out that I'm not right behind him, I've got my tire off, tube out, and one time had a patch kit with me, so my tube patched and I'm sitting on the side of the road, just waiting for him to come back with the pump. Easily 15 minutes one time before he got back to me.

[Pedal Wench]

I had something like this happen on a group ride.

I ride with the same group every Wednesday. Since I'm one of the slower regulars, I've got the job of sweeping, and keeping on eye on new folks to make sure they don't get lost between re-groupings and fix mechanicals and whatever. We had a new woman join our group who is a much stronger rider. She would go up ahead, but then circle back to the women I was riding with at the back. Couldn't figure out why it bothered me, but it did. So, as soon as she showed up, I rode ahead, since the stragglers had her riding with them. The next week, no newbies or stragglers were there, but I had stopped to help someone adjust her cleats, so I was the last one up the climbs. This woman rode back to ride with me. It infuriated me. I finally told her that I didn't need/want her to do this. I talked with her about this after the ride. I felt that it was just rubbing my nose in the fact that I was back there. On the group rides, they all just wait patiently, and I felt that this circling back was very demoralizing. In my head, folks are waiting at the top because they're catching their breathe, and they're not REALLY waiting up for us slowpokes. Since we talked, she hasn't done it again.

My BF used to do this when we hiked. He would hike off ahead really fast, but sometimes he wouldn't look back. I used to kill myself trying to keep up, but I recognized that this was making me very resentful and mad. So, I stopped! I just hike at my pace, and I ride at my pace. I'm much happier now!