'sigh' Sex talk - need advice

[esther231]

Cheri, I agree with everyone that it could be phyiscal and it doesn't hurt to start there.

I've been married 30 years. So, it's been awhile since I haven't made love regularly. But I remember that the times in my life when I wasn't making love regularly, I lost my sex drive. When I do make love regularly, I find it again. I have no clue why it's like that but it is like that for me.

We've had date nights for decades. It just helped to take a night where we both set everything aside to be together and do something we enjoy. Sometimes we got into taking turns - it's your turn - what do you want most to do this week and the next week it was the other person's turn to figure out if it was gonna be a dinner or a night with friends or a walk or whatever. Sometimes we would decide together. It doesn't matter. What matters is that, for us, it was a way of saying you're important to me, I value this. I think that helped us to stay connected sexually.

Since both of you know it's been awhile - talk about it with him. Even in passing - it doesn't have to be a heavy conversation - better even if you can laugh about it - would acknowledge the elephant in the living room so you can start moving it out the door.