Oh, man, how many times?
Bike related: none yet.
Home stupidity: Twice, I cut a can, and prying it open, the metal bent a bit, then sprang back down and cut my knuckle all the way through. Wasn't goign to close by itself, I could see the joint. Two stitches.
Sis got upset at me while we were having a 'discussion' over homework. Lunges with pencil and I dodge, protecting myself with hand. Hand v. Pencil. Pencil wins. Went to ER and it took two nurses to hold me down while the doctor poked around in the wound to find the broken lead. Still have a tattoo on my palm.
Should've gone for the 3", fat-deep gash in my thigh from a wood-cutting incident, but was too stupid and scared to. It healed up fine, just left a nasty, huge scar.
Illness: Too many incidents of bronchitis and ear infections to count, went once because I was sure I had mono, but my parents were 'sure' it was just a cold, even though a guy I worked with had mono. Sure enough, they diagnosed me, said "Not much we can do. Drink lots and don't move much." Spent the next four days almost unable to swallow anything and in weird feverish dreams. Temp went up to 104 for awhile. I got 'I told you so' rights.
...that's it, as far as I can remember. I guess it's not that bad.